College Days
by P. Fishies
Summary: Five years after Satoshi left Azumo Middle School, I see him again. And he pretends like he's never even met me before! Well, fine! See if I care whether or not you talk to me. SatoshixRisa. chp 15 will make it complete! HAHAHA!
1. Prologue

**A/N:** I wanted to write a chapter story for DN Angel, and this is the only good idea I've kept up with. I'm hoping you all like it ok.

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Breaking You

Chapter 1

The day that Satoshi Hiwatari left the school (country more like it) was... chaotic. At first things were in an uproar. Girls were planing on ditching school in search of the mysterious blue-eyed boy. People plotted escape routes throughout Mathematics class. I think even Sensei was worried about him. I asked Daisuke about it and he said that Satoshi just needed some time away from everything. Poor guy... God knows he's already dealt with more stress than I could ever imagine. What with all the girls, his school, his family, his job...

Oh, yeah... have you heard about it too?

News about Satoshi's job was let out. Actually... rumors more like it. They say he used to be Cheif Commander of the Police. Word is that he used to chase after Dark; chasing Dark was his specialty. At first, I couldn't believe it. A trusted classmate go after my one true love. _What had the world come_ _to?_ Then, rumors got around about his family. How he was actually adopted and that Dark stole artwork from his original family. Some people even went as far as his father being abusive. Which is all kind of ridiculous!

Still...

One can never be too sure of something, can she? Because we used to be... well... we were friends, I suppose... but I mean... I guess I cared about him. Not that I found him attractive or anything, just... we used to be friends, you know? It really... the entire _scene_ just pissed me off! It was like I was screaming all the time.

Shut up! Leave him alone! Don't act like that! Don't talk like that! You don't know anything about him! Just leave it be!

But, really... all this was screamed inside my mind. I would never actually scream such things. It would give people more rumors to start. Anyway...

As time passed, things died down. Satoshi... it was as if he was forgotten entirely. It was strange... how girls adored him, talked about running after him, about moving to the States in frantic search for him, then... dumped him. As much as I hate to admit it, it was because of Dark. Not too long after Satoshi left, Dark mysteriously dissapeared, and people turned their full attention to him. It made me angry. Not like I care or anything, but _really_... if I moved to another school and people forgot who I was, I would be upset.

I still think about him, you know? Satoshi I mean. I mean... it's not like I'm in love with him, but... I'm assuming you'd do the same thing. Wonder if the poor kid's ok, hoping he's having a better life than the one he had here, hoping his family is kind to him, hoping he has friends, hoping he hasn't isolated himself... and wishing, more than anything, that you could have made his life better when he _did _live here...

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**A/N:** In the next chapter, Risa goes off to college and guess who she meets. Guess!


	2. Stupid Pretender

**A/N:** Normally, I don't update as frequently as this. So... it might be a little bit until the next chapter. I like to wait for reviews, so... yeah. I guess if you want it sooner, review. That's how I base my updates. Enjoy!

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Chapter 2 

Ah, the wonders of college. Much, much better than High School ever was. The fresh scent, the new dorm, the new people and campus, the will to suceed. It was all so amazing! And the fact that I was in accepted into Tokyo University made college even better!

I looked around the large campus, savoring the moment, taking it all in. I took a deap breath of Autum air, then headed over to the information booth. There wasn't much of a line, but it was enough to make it obvious that I was a simple small town girl and almost everyone attending already knew each other. I swallowed my nervous attitude and told the man at the booth my name. A few people around me stared, a bit intrigued, a bit confused. They all shrugged and left me alone. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or bad thing.

"Thank you," I said as the man finally handed me my papers. I turned and walked away, but I must not have been paying attention to where I was going because I bumped into someone. I stumbled and dropped a few of my papers while the other person didn't move at all. I always was a little horrible with balance.

"Sorry," I appologized without looking up at the person. I quickly scooped up my papers and stood to smile and facethe boy I had bumped in to. I froze, noticing something familiar as the student fumbled with his glasses that had almost fallen. I gasped, my mouth falling open.

The blue eyes, which practically seared a hole through my body, grew wide and the student cleared his throat. After that, the normal, blank face that I had always seen walking around the halls returned, and he acted as if nothing had happened. "Excuse me." He turned and began walking away, but I reached out to grab his arm. I ended up grabbing his elbow or something. He really grew a few inches...

"Satoshi?" I asked, not really believing it was true. A tidbit of excitment sparked within me and I grinned. Why the excitement was there in the first place in unbeknownst to me. I guess it was just like seeing an old friend from the past or something. But he wasn't an old friend. Barely a friend at that. And it was only four years... and we had never been very close. And...

I just repeated myself didn't I?

The already stiff posture stiffened again. I ran around so I was looking directly at him. He avoided my gaze, pulling his arm from my grasp. Oh, yeah. It was him. No other human would be _that_ stiff to contact.

"Oh, my God!" I exclaimed, putting a hand on my hip. "How in the world did you end up here? I thought you moved to the States!" He looked at me and I felt my knees go weak... not like that was special or anything. His gaze was always that instense.

"Do I know you?" He asked.

I stared.

He cleared his throat again and brushed by me. "I must be going-"

I found my body reacting before I knew what I was doing. I stepped in front of him and heard myself say, "Oh, no you don't." He raised an eyebrow at me.

Now I knew what I was doing... and I felt awfully stupid for doing it.

"Who do you think you are? We were friends in Middle School! You remember? With Daisuke Niwa and Riku Harada? She was my twin. If you don't remember that, then there's definately something wrong... perhaps amnesia?"

I don't think that he understood my joke. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I believe you have the wrong person."

_Who the hell do I know that has blue eyes like yours?_ I almost screamed. But I didn't. I kept my temper beneath me. Because I was not about to shout to the entire campus about his _eyes_. If I did, everyone would draw the wrong conclusions.

"I'm sorry, but _I_ believe I _don't_."

He merely shurgged, partially saying that he could care less. "Now, if you'll excuse me-"

I stepped in front of him again. "Hiwatari-kun, come on. This is stupid."

"Who is this guy you keep talking about?" He asked, looking truly confused, and a bit annoyed. I could not stop myself from gawking. The anger and dissapointment were increasing by the second.

"Uh, you are. Have you gotten ill or something?" Now I was the confused one. "You left school as fast as you could for some odd, cosmic reason. Remember?"

There was a hint of emotion in his face for half of a split second, then it all went blank again. "Sorry, but I really must be going." This time, I let him pass by me. I turned and watched as his tall figuire dissapeared in the crowd of students.

I had never heard his voice so monotone before. I mean... I know that this was the tone he had always used whenever he spoke. It was always like that and probably always would be. But... I didn't like it for some reason. Not some special reason, mind you. It was like a pet peeve or something...

"Don't mind him," a girl said from behind me. I turned to look at her. She was probably my height, if not shorter, with short, brown hair pulled back in a pony tail and a compassionate smile that no one had given me except maybe Ritsuko or Riku. "He's just a jerk."

"Huh?" I must have sounded like the dumbest kid alive, with a mental illness and multiple disabilities. I was more than grateful when she just giggled and patted my shoulder. We began walking before I could blink.

"Kazutaka Yitoren. He's a jerk. Ice water for blood. Has no feelings at all." I listened to her, probably more confused than I have ever been in my life. "I went to High School with him for a few years. Didn't talk to anyone. Hardly looked at anyone. He's just a self-centered jerk that doesn't give a shit about what anyone else thinks. And when he did speak, all he did was answer a teacher's question. Or, maybe, _if you were lucky_, appologize after he bumped into you." She shook her head, disgusted.

"You don't like him, do you?" I asked, sounding more... defeated than surprised.

She laughed wryly. "Not a bit. Never even said sorry when he bumped into _me_." She then looked at me, as if my IQ had suddenly reached an ultamite high. "I'm surprised he said more than three words to you. How'd you get him to do that?"

I shrugged, chosing not to respond.

"How do you know him? I heard you say from Middle School or something?"

I merely shook my head, giving up on trying to figure things out. "He was just in a few of my classes. Nothing special..." Looking back, I'm really pissed at myself for... missing him so much. Never really thought I did, I just... did. Not like there was anything to miss either.

Did I miss him always being quiet or something? Did I miss his lack of attention towards me when we were 'dating'? Or did I miss it when he would stare at me and make me feel more inferior than dirt? Did I miss it when he would help me, although somewhat relucant, whenever I didn't understand my school work? Or when he would bump into me, repeatedly, after a bad day and say sorry because, although he was incredibly quiet, he was always so polite? Or when he would mask all of his pain so he wouldn't make others feel bad? Or-

"Well, anyway," the girl said with a shrug of one shoulder, interrupting my thoughts. "Just steer clear of him. I'm Izumi Kokomi. I think my friend is your roommate or something..."

"Oh," I said, probably coming to life for the first time since that morning. I brightened a bit. "Ok. I'm Risa Harada."

"Nice to meet you, Harada-chan," She said, shaking my hand with a confident smile. We rounded a corner. "I can call you 'chan' right?"

"Sure," I said, shrugging. "Nice to meet you too, by the way."

Izumi ended up leading me around the University campus. She knew a lot, considering that it was only her second year in college. She told me all of the bad teachers, all of the nice teachers, all of the nice students, a few other mean students, and, at lunch, she showed me the different groups of people.

The Beautifuls, the Athletics, the Cool Nerds, the Dorky Nerds, the Punks and Gothics, and the Losers. I didn't know why the Losers called themselves that because, well... they were all really, really nice people. Plus, Izumi was one of them so... I guess I was automatically in. Surprisingly, it didn't bother me. I know if I was always Miss Popular in High School and Middle School, and this was a little bit of a change for me. But... If being a Loser meant that I was surrounded by the coolest friends alive, then I was fine with that.

I had a good feeling about this year. Despite the minor incident with Satoshi. What a jerk. Not saying hi to me after all these years... not like I expected him to, but the least he could have done was said hi, you know?

But who cares! He changed his name, his identity, his friends (or lack there of)... He could live without me as a friend. I can live without him as a friend. Hear that, Satoshi! I don't need you to be successful in my pursuit of becoming a doctor! So... take that jackass!

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**A/N:** Oo, Risa cursed. (GASP) What _has_ the world come to? 


	3. Parties and Elective Sign Ups

**A/N: **Thanks for all the reviews! This is actually based off of the manga... and I'm REALLY sorry if I misspell things. I know that my spelling sucks so... yeah... enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 3

"Oi, Risa-chan!"

Someone hissed at me, but I wasn't really aware of it. I was too wrapped in the presentation that Sensei was giving. Then, I felt a piece of wadded up paper hit my cheek and I jumped...five feet in the air. My thighs bumped into my desk and I yelped in pain. I immediately put my hands over my mouth as the entire class turned to look at me. I felt the heat run all through my body and I smiled pathetically.

"G-gomen..." I stammered as Sensei looked annoyed. "I... saw a spider..." The class sniggered as I sat down. All I could do was lower my head and stare at my notes in embarassment. I saw the wadded up piece of paper next to my binder and scowled. As Sensei continued, I glared over at Izumi, who sat in the seat next to mine in our class. She shrugged.

"Sorry," she mouthed.

I rolled my eyes and decided to open the piece of paper.

_Risa,_

_Party tonight at Kyo's place. Want to come?_

I raised an eyebrow and looked at my friend that I had just gotten to know in about a month. Her eyes widened, begging me to come. I let out a soft, low growl from the back of my throat, but smiled a small smile and shrugged one shouler. She pretended to clap her hands in excitement, then gave me a thumbs up.

I sighed, giggling a bit, then returned to my notes.

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"Oi, Izumi-chan, why should I come to a party with you and your boyfriend?" I asked her after the class was over. She grinned widely. 

"Because it'll be fun!" she replied. She leaned in closer to me as we rounded a corner on the campus. "Besides, you need to met more people."

"I'm quite comfortable with my social status now," I said, lying the tiniest bit to myself. I did like all the attention I was given in High School, but in college, everything was different. And I liked different... just... I did sort of miss the boys in High School.

"Oh, come on, Risa-chan!" Izumi pleaded. "You're always so involved with your schoolwork. It's a friday! You deserve a little break."

"I need to get a jump start on all of my homework," I said, fingering my dorm key in my pocket. Izumi pursed out her lower lip and clapsed both hands together, giving her the facial features of a puppy. I laughed. "Alright, alright. I said I would come. I will. I just might be late is all."

"Great!" Izumi said, letting out a squeal. "I will see you there at seven! Or... perhaps eight, in your case."

I nodded and said goodbye as she turned a corner to go to her next class. I headed off to my dorm room, ready for my lunch break. On my way, I spotted the **Optional Elective** sign-up sheets being posted by a student. I walked over to it as soon as he left and thought for a second. By the next day, everything good would be taken... and I could use something extra to put on my job application.

I shrugged to myself and took out the pencil that was stuck behind my ear. I carefully wrote my name in the first slot of the class that taught an old hobbie of mine. I was about to walk away, but my eye caught on The Paper. You know... that one sign-up sheet that no one ever, EVER, takes unless they run out of room with anything else.

Now, I'm really a nice person once you get to know me. I mean... sure, I have my bad moments, but so does everyone. I'm kind and considerate. I always do community service. I don't let my ego get _too_ big when guys adore me. And I'm always loyal to my friends. I'm not the one to play... oh, say... a really, really, _really_ sick joke on someone. Like signing a name that wasn't mine on The Paper. But...

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I took a deep breath, as if getting ready for the Olympics or something, then began walking up the drive to Kyo Kimonki's house. 

_Why am I doing this anyway?_ I thought to myself as I rang the doorbell. _I don't even want to be here..._

The door opened and Izumi squealed once she saw me. Before I could blink, she reached out, took my hand, and pulled me into the house. I stumbled as she shut the door, a bit surprised at all the people there.

"I thought you would never come!" Izumi scolded me, putting a hand on her hip.

I merely shrugged, a smile creeping onto my lips. Looking around the house, I was shocked. Kyo must have been loaded because his house was HUGE. At least ten rooms on every floor. I mean.. it looked big on the outside too, but... I wasn't paying that much attention!

"Wow," I mumbled as Izumi grabbed a cup full of brown liquid and handed it to me.

"You like it?" Kyo asked, suddenly appearing beside Izumi and wrapping his arms around her waist.

I nodded. "It's really nice..." I took a sip of the liquid, then felt the fire burning in my throat... and eyes... and nostrils... and mouth. I caughed, my eyes watering, and took a few moments to breathe. "W-what... i-is... th-this?" I managed to ask as I wiped my eyes, still caughing.

The two of them looked at me as if I had just sprouted five heads. The glanced at each other.

"What did you think it was?"Kyo asked me.

"Uhh... root beer?" I suggested, feeling like a little child. The both of them laughed and I looked at my feet.

"Risa-chan, it's not root beer," Izumi said, patting my shoulder. "It's just plain beer."

I nodded, as they laughed again, and ran my finger along the rim of the cup. "Oh... ok..."

"I'm going to go hang out with Kyo," Izumi said, smiling at me. "I'll see you later, ok?"

I nodded again, shrugging one shoulder, trying to be cool. "Yeah. Ok."

She squeezed my hand as Kyo started leading her away. "Have fun, alright? Try meeting new people!" She had to shout the last sentance because the music was so loud. I stared after her for a moment, then set the cup of alcohol back on the table where she had found it.

"Yeah... fun..." I murmured to myself. I walked around the house, partially looking around and admiring it, partially trying to find the door. It was all so big...

"Hey, baby," someone said from beside me. An arm slipped over my shoulder and I smelled something terrible as some random dude just showed up at my side. I froze. "Looking for something?"

"Umm..." This was insane! A drunken slob was hitting on me! I swallowed, avoiding his gaze and trying to slip free, but he held tight to my shoulder. My heart sped up and, for a fleeting second, I thought of being...

I was actually saved by some other random drunk dude that hit my drunk captor over the head. And I thought I was going to be raped or something! But, thank God, the two idiots got into a fight and started punching the crap out of each other. A circle formed, people pushing me away, and students began to chant:

"Fight! Fight! Fight!"

I swore to myself and headed as far away from that place as fast as I possibly could. Perhaps a little too fast. Just leave it up to me to screw things up, once again, by bumping into someone and almost completely falling on my ass.

Just as I was falling, I felt a hand grab my wrist and set me straight. I blinked, dazed, and shivered. I could feel my rescuer looking at me.

"Excuse me. I wasn't looking where I was going."

I could have died right then and there and everything would be perfectly fine. But, because of the fact that I had no reason of health in my body to die, I didn't. In other words, I saw him again... and kind of made a fool out of myself.

"Uhh... no. No. It's fine," I stuttered, his hand leaving my wrist. "I, uhh... I should be more careful."

Satoshi's blue eyes seemed to be scrutinizing every single move I made as I fixed my hair, my blouse, my jeans. It felt as if he were an assasin, waiting for the opportune moment to strike. Creepy...

"Are you alright?" he asked me, for once looking somewhat concerned.

I waved it away, giving him a fake smile. "What, me? Oh, yeah! I'm fine! Perfectly dandy. I was just... wandering..." Dandy? Oh, _god_, I wish I was drunk for that one... at least I would have had an excuse...

"What are you doing here?"

I gulped, everything going in slow-motion. "Uhh... because I was invited." Satoshi looked as if he was going to say something, but decided not to. I liked it that way. I wasn't about to be lectured or something. Especially by him. "What about you?"

He shrugged, adjusting his glasses. "I must be going..."

In my heart, I was a bit dissapointed. And a bit proud. I mean... Izumi said that he never really said anything to anyone... and... he just said... five full sentances to me! That's a good thing, right? But it's not like I care about him saying five full sentances to me anyway...

"Alright," I said quietly, the atmosphere becoming awkward. "Well... yeah..." I didn't really want to say good-bye because I didn't know if I would see him again. Or if he would even talk to me next time. So, really, I didn't want to embarass myself.

"Oh!" I gasped as he began walking away. "Hey, do you know the way out of here?"

He stopped, like he heard me, and seemed to struggle for a moment with whether or not he should say something. I was offended when he finally walked away with a slight shaking of the head. He didn't even asnwer me! How rude! What a stupid, self centered, arrogant, ignorant...! URGH. He makes me so mad!

Stupid Satoshi... never needed his help anyway...

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Musical Theater Sign-Ups

_Risa Harada_

Child Care and Education Sign-Ups

_Kazutaka Yitoren_

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A/N: Haha. I'm so warped. (smile) 


	4. Of Thoughts and Classes

**A/N:** Hey all! Thanx for reviewing me! I love to hear back from every chapter that I post : )I hope you guys still enjoy it, and here's chapter 4!

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Chapter 4 

I was pissed off. He had just left me there! Left me to die, or be raped, or... or... drunk for all he knows! Didn't he even care? I know _I_ was thinking about why he was at the party. Not like I'm concerned, but of all people... why was _he_ there?

"You need to stop being so angry all the time," Izumi said the day after the party. "If you keep this up, I'll have to send you over to the Gothics." We were all walking around a mall, looking for new clothes to buy. Izumi kind of dragged us along because she needed more jeans. Oh, and she needed to buy Kyo something for their anniversary. I was fine with it because shopping was fun for me. Kagura wasn't all too pleased with it, but she came anyway.

"Somehow, I really can't see Risa-chan wearing black," Kagura Yamazaki, my trusted roommate, said.

"He's just such a jerk," I raved. "I mean... why? He could have just pointed... or said one word... or... something! But, _no_! He just walked away! Like I was nothing!"

"Oi, Risa-chan, are we talking about him _again_?" Izumi asked, annoyed. "I'm telling you, stay away. He doesn't care about anyone." She spotted a pair of sandals and cocked her head at them. "Nice..."

"We're here for jeans, Izumi-chan," Kagura said, with a grumble. They began laughing about something or other as I zoned out on a pair of jeans myself.

Ever since the first day of school, I had been thinking. Satoshi was not that bad of a guy. I mean, really. He just kept his distance because... well... I don't know. Daisuke was always using his IQ as an excuse. He's smarter than everyone else, but he's not stuck up about it. Maybe he just doesn't want other people to feel inferior.

But, if that's the case, why does he stare at me like that?

I didn't want to think about Izumi's words because they would always end up making sense. I've never, ever seen him smile. And he's never really been nice to me. He's been polite, but never _nice_, if you want to get technical about it. Then again, I've never really been _nice_ to him either. Come to think of it... I don't think anyone had been _nice_ to him, except for Daisuke.

What must it be like for him to always stay so distant? What must it be like... to have no one be nice to you... to have no friends... to have people trash talking you all the time...

"Risa!" Kagura called me out of my daydream and shook my shoulder. I yelped, surprised, and glared at her. She laughed and Izumi stared at the jeans I was looking at.

"Not bad, Risa-chan," Izumi said, picking them up. "You would look nice in these."

I rolled my eyes, and took the jeans from her. "_You're_ the one looking for jeans, remember?"

"Yes, yes, but still," Izumi said eyeing me as I accidentally held the jeans up to my own legs. "Oh, I'm buying them." Before I could blink, they were out of my hands and held tight to Izumi's chest.

"Great," Kagura murmered. "Now we can leave."

"Oh, I haven't found my own jeans yet!" Izumi called, already yards ahead of us. "These are for Risa-chan!"

"What!" Kagura was about to punch something, but I patted her shoulder.

"Just leave her in her bliss."

Kagura and I ended up eating pretzels and waiting for hours on end until Izumi was done with her clothes shopping. She didn't buy much, but, after three hours, she still had to buy Kyo something. So we had to drive all the way out to the middle of nowhere to pick up some stupid flower (of all things, a flower!). I swear, it took three hours just to pick up a flower, and one hour just to make the journey back home. All in all, it was not a good day. I mean... there were some good points... but not many. I guess I was just tired.

The next day, however, was honestly the worst day of my life.

It started with the fact that I was kicked out of my Musical Theater class because so many peo聰le signed up and... I was a freshman in college. So, even though I signed up first, they kicked me out because I'm a freshman. Unfair! Unfair treatment! Everyone in this schoolboard is sexist! Sexist, I tell you!

Now, I'm in that class... with _him_. They put me in _his_ class. The class which _he_ was in.

I was angry, of course, but then I saw him. Everyone else was laughing and slapping his back, wishing him luck or something. Satoshi's horrified expression was priceless as he looked at the Elective sheet. At first, I was all proud and smug as I saw his face. It served him right for being so mean to me. It was his own fault. That smug bastard... think so highly of yourself now?

Then he looked at me... right in my eyes. He saw my smug smile... and how it faded. Why was my smile fading? I thought it was funny! Well, at first it was, but... the way that he looked at me. As if I had betrayed him or something. I didn't feel so proud anymore.

Me being in his same class didn't help much either.

* * *

"Welcome, students," Sensei greeted us. I stared at him for a little because of his voice. It was... different somehow. So was his clothing... "This, as you all know, is Child Care and Education. I'm Sensei Smith. Yes, I'me from the States, so do _not_ ask me that question." 

A few people behind me whispered something about how wierd he was. Teaching at a Japanese University and being from America. They also giggled when one commented that he was gay. I rolled my eyes and leaned my head against the wall. I glanced around the room at all the different people. My eyes landed on Satoshi. He didn't look very pleased at all, and I immediately looked away.

"Now, keep in mind that these seats will be permanent," Sensei Smith said. "And whoever you will sit next to, will be your partner in all of your projects. So no complaining!"

The students nodded and mumbled, all standing against the wall waiting for their seat assignments. As he read the names, more and more students stepped away from the wall. I didn't notice that I was the last name called until I was the last person standing against the wall.

"Harada, Risa and Yitoren, Kazutaka," Sensei read.

I walked calmly over to my seat, then froze once I had put my books down. I hadn't recognized the name at first. I looked, horrified as Satoshi sat down in his seat... next to mine.

_Oh no,_ I thought. _Oh, no. Not in this class. Not now. Oh, _god_ no!_

"Is something wrong, Harada-san?" Sensei asked. I looked from him, to my seat, then to Satoshi, then back to him. He looked annoyed and the class sniggered. I felt the heat go to my face and I swallowed my pride.

"N-no, Sensei," I mumbled. "Sorry." I sat down, putting my head in my hands.

"Good," Sensei said, rolling his eyes. "Now then..."

The class continued, but I didn't pay attention. I was sitting next to him. Out of all people, Sensei put me next to _him_. It's like the entire world wanted me to be miserable! Even after class, when I talked to Sensei Smith, he would not move me.

Like I said, this school is full of sexist people.

"Harada-san," Sensei Smith said, just as I was about to storm out of the room. I stopped, rested my books on one hip, and glared at him. If I kept this attitude up, I could get in a lot of trouble. "Just give Yitoren-san a chance, alright? Mid-year, if you still don't like him, I'll change the seats. Does that sound ok?"

I sighed, a little bit of relief filling me. "Thank you, Sensei."

With that, I left, feeling at least somewhat of a ray of hope. I mean... all I had to do was put up with Satoshi until after mid-terms, then tell Sensei that I didn't like him. Just a few months left. It wasn't that long of a time. I know it's only September, but... the end of January comes soon, doesn't it?

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A/N: Ok, this was a bit more lengthy than I wanted, but I had to delete scenes that werent necissary and develop... other things... 


	5. Jerks Don't Help Headaches

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews! Sorry about the whole backwards Sensei thing... and I'm sorry, but I won't change it because... I'm honestly _way_ too lazy to do such a hard task. (smile) Well, enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 5

As the day continued, I felt worse and worse. It wasn't just that I felt like the worst human being on the face of the earth, but I was tired. Really, really, really tired. And I had a headache. Kagura asked me if I was alright during lunch, but all I could do was shake my head.

I held my cool water bottle to my temple and sighed. For a fleeting second, everything was fine... then the fire alarm went off. I stood, startled, as did the rest of the lunch room. People were being immature and screaming about how we were going to die, which didn't help my headache.

"That's odd," Kagura said as the crowd of people began exiting the room. "The Dean didn't say anything about a fire drill."

We all went outside to our assigned spots, sort of freezing our ass' off. After about half an hour or 45 minutes, we finally went inside. Everyone was wondering why it had taken so long to stay outside just for a fire drill.

"Attention students," the Dean's voice came over the intercom and I shook. My head was throbbing. "I want all of you to go to your dorm rooms. _Immediately_."

Everyone complained, but gathered their things and went to their rooms. Kagura and I were one of the last ones into the lunch room to gather our things. Almost every other student was out of the room at that moment in time. Kagura asked me if I was going to be ok. After all, our rooms were on opposite sides of the campus. I simply nodded and slowly picked up my things. I heard the teachers ordering students to leave. I was dizzy as I looked out the window and tried to steady myself on a chair. It didn't help. I stopped walking for a second, blinking hard. My head hurt so much...

All I can remember was the feeling of sleeping. I closed my eyes and just... I don't know. I guess I blacked out because the next thing I knew, I was sitting in a wheelchair, being rushed to the Nurse's office. For a second, I was scared, but I was too tired to think about anything. So I blacked out again.

God, my head hurt.

* * *

"Harada-san? Are you alright? Harada-san?" 

I heard a soft, soothing voice calling my name and I opened my eyes. I immediately shut them again because there was a blinding light from up above... and I had stared directly at it. I groaned and shielded my closed eyes with my hands.

"Ah! You're awake. Thank the gods."

I blinked several times, until the fuzzed figure became a woman standing by my side. I stared at her and she just smiled.

"You were out for some time, Harada-san," she said, walking behind me and helping me sit up. "I was afraid that you would slip into a coma."

I sighed, then winced at the pain that made the left side of my forehead throb. I reached up to touch it, but the woman swatted my hand away.

"You can't touch that unless you want your clothes more stained than they already are."

A blanket was still draped over me so I removed it from the top half of my body. It was strange how clueless I was when I looked down at my shirt and found large spots of red... stuff. I gently poked the spots, only to find the redness sticking to my fingers. I gasped when I finally figured out what that I had been bleeding.

"Yes, quite surprised I was as well," the woman walked to a small refridgerator in the room and took out a bottle of water. She then came back to me and shoved it in my hands. "Drink. It will help."

I did and caughed a bit. Once I was sure that I was alright, I took a deep breath and drank some more. I had noticed, by now, that I was in the Nurse's Office.

"How long have I been out?" I asked the woman. She thought for a moment, glanced up at the clock, then thought some more.

"About three and a half hours," she replied with a confident smile.

I choked on the water again and pated my chest. "Three and a half hours? I'm missing my classes!"

"And you will continue to miss them throughout the rest of the day." The woman's voice turned suddenly stern, and I decided I would not argue. "You'll be returning to class about noon tomorrow. If you're nice, I'll let you out half an hour early." She winked and became all cheerful again.

I smiled at her and leaned back against the comfortable pillow. "What did I do to myself?"

"Don't know," the woman pulled up a chair and sat down in it. "We got a call from someone in the lunch room and found you on the ground. The boy said that you had fallen or something..."

I stared. "A boy?"

The woman nodded. "We've been here ever since, fixing you up." When I didn't respond, she shrugged and held out a hand. "I'm Sensei Hiyono, but you can call me Sensei Arisa."

I slowly reached out and shook her hand. "I'm Risa... Harada. But it seems as though you already know my name."

"Well, I was going by what your little friend said," Sensei Arisa said truthfully. "So it's a good thing he didn't lie to me."

"Who is this guy?" I asked. "And what did he do to me?"

Sensei Arisa blinked. "Nothing. Harada-san, for all I know, he saved your life." I was staring... again. She looked like she wanted to tell me something, but did not. Instead, she looked outside the door window and grinned. "Is he your boyfriend?"

I looked to where her eyes were and felt sick. There, coming out of the bathroom on a limp, stood Satoshi. He seemingly cursed at his problem, then came limping over to us. My horrified eyes shifted back to Sensei Arisa.

"No, he's not my boyfriend!" I hissed. "He's hardly a _friend_ at all!"

"Oh," her grin seemed to dim, but she waved it away. "He will be soon then." I was about to shout something nasty, but Satoshi came through the door and nodded at us.

"You're awake," he told me.

"Yes, she is!" Sensei Arisa stood from her chair and put it back against the wall. She dragged another chair that had been unoccupied up against the wall as well. I couldn't help but wonder why there were two chairs. "She just woke up! I was afraid of her going into a coma, but no fear! She is alive and well! You really shouldn't worry so much, Yitoren-san."

_She acts just like a teenager_, I thought to myself.

The jerk just shook his head and leaned against the wall for support. "I was not worried."

"What happened to your leg?" I burted out. I looked him up and down, but could find nothing wrong.

Satoshi decided to ignore me by taking off his glasses and cleaning them on his shirt. Sensei Arisa rolled her eyes and sighed. She mumbled something that sounded like "hypocritical faker".

"There was a fire," she said before I could say anything else. "Down in the auditorium when the lighting wire broke. Here-I-Am-To-Save-The-Day-san over here just _had_ to make sure everyone was out safe before he was..." I giggled, but Satoshi was not amused. He sighed and continued to clean his glasses.

"So that's why there was an unexpected fire drill," I commented. "There was a real fire." Sensei Arisa nodded.

"It was a small fire, so not a while lot of people knew about it. By now, there are rumors flying everywhere," she said. "Well, anyway... he accidentally burnt his ankle off while helping someone from the stage to the floor."

"You burnt your ankle off!" I nearly shrieked as I asked this.

"_Clearly_, it is still attatched to my body," Satoshi said, putting his glasses back on his nose and lifting his pant leg. I cringed as I saw the large, somewhat bloody, bandage that wrapped around his ankle. "But, because of exaggeration-" he glared at Sensei Arisa. "-I am forced to stay here until tonight."

"Oh, he doesn't mind," Sensei Arisa said with a playful sneer. "You two can keep each other company just like-"

"I would prefer not," Satoshi cut her off rather abruptly. I was even more angered when he caught my offended stare and did nothing. "I'm going to go lie down." With that, he left and limped into a room that was somewhat diagonal from the one I was in.

"What's his problem?" I huffed as he shut the door. "He is so-!"

"Oh, he's a nice boy," Sensei Arisa said. "You and him can get along really great."

"I'd rather be all alone than with _him_," I said distastefully. "Why did he even come into this room anyway?"

Sensei Arisa sighed, a knowing smile coming over her face. I looked at her and she just shook her head. "I'll let him tell you. There are more pillows in the closet. Call if you need anything!" She pranced out of the room, shutting the door a little too hard, and began helping other students that came inside the office.

I sighed, a little annoyed and slowly swung my feet over the side of the bed. It was kind of a big room, considering that I was the only one in it. I had a little difficult walking to the light switch and back to the bed, but I made it. I sighed and turned on my one side, trying not to get sick over the dizziness.

"Stupid, little jerk," I mumbled to myself. "Thinks he's so high and mighty... thinks he's a hero... stupid, stupid, stupid..." I then cursed, realizing something very important.

My outfit was completely ruined.

* * *

**A/N:** In the next chapter... something happens (bum bum bum). Classes become harder, anger is shown, and...Yitoren-san offers _help_? Who the hell wrote this story! (pause) Oh, wait... I did... 


	6. He's Going to Help Me?

**A/N:** Hey, I'm updating this chapter and the last together because... well, Christmas is coming in my story, as well as the real world, and I wanted it to be somewhat close to the real thing. My next chapters might be updated sooner too. Maybe though. It depends on how many reviews I get so... R&R! And enjoy!

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Chapter 6

The next day was a bit hectic for me. I had my friends running up to me and hugging me, asking if I was alright. Izumi and Kagura nearly knocked my head off when they saw my... wound. Other people stared too, I know that. That wasn't the problem though. It wasn't even the fact that I looked like a monster awoken from the dead either... although... that was a bad point. It was all my work.

I had missed maybe four or five classes and I had to make up work from all of them. On top of homework, there were notes, and project assignments, and... just a lot of work! I felt overwhelmed as I sat in the library and began reading my Science book. I was so frustrated that I could have cried. Who cared about the chemicals in a human's body and how they reacted to certain medicines?

Oh, yeah. I'm becoming a doctor. Maybe I _should _learn this stuff... stupid college...

At that moment in time, I looked up and sighed, trying to control my raging hormones. As I lowered my gaze from the ceiling, my eyes landed on a figure I was all to familiar with. He was checking out a book for one of his classes and it looked like he didn't enojy working any more than I did. My first instinct was to call his name and wave at him, but I stopped myself just as he turned my way to exit the library. I quickly looked away and pretended to take notes while, from the corner of my eye, I was watching his feet move.

They were coming closer... closer... _closer_... hey, his limp was getting better... closer... _right next to the desk_... farther... farther. I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, but then the shoes stopped. I cursed in my head, and flinched as the black, polished shoes back-stepped to my table. They stayed there. He didn't talk, he didn't move. He just stared, over my shoulder, practically breathing down my neck! I couldn't take it anymore.

"What do you want!" I spun around in my chair and hissed menacingly at him. His blue eyes seemed surprised for a moment, then he relaxed and looked at my book.

"Science class?" he asked, looking from the book, to my ever-so-magnificent notes, then back to me.

I rolled my eyes, turned back to my work, and grumbled, "Not like _you_ care."

"You want to become a doctor, don't you?" Satoshi asked, shifting his book from one hand to the other.

I nodded, then put my head in my hand. "Very much so."

He nodded, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Ah, well... if you need any help..." I turned to stare at him, but he merely waved with two fingers, and exited the room. I continued to stare at the empty space.

* * *

"No way. No _way_. No _freaking_ way!" 

"Sweet Jesus, Izumi-chan, calm down."

The three of us, Kagura, Izumi and I, sat in my dorm room (it's Kagura's dorm room too), discussing what exactly I should do with the knowledge given to me. It had been a few days since Satoshi said this to me. I didn't want to ask for his help right away, so... I waited... a lot. I didn't want to seem pathetic or anything! And I just now told my friends because I didn't want Izumi murdering Satoshi.

_"Kazutaka Yitoren. He's a jerk. Ice water for blood. Has no feelings at all."_

The first things that she said about him were always popping into my mind at random moments in the day. It was... strange. I didn't like to think about him, but... Satoshi wasn't _that_ bad, was he?

"What a filthy, hypocritical, ignorant little creep!" Izumi squealed. "Here he goes, pretending like he doesn't know you from Middle School..."

"It wasn't that big of a deal..." I said quietly, but she didn't hear me.

"And now he just offers his help to you!" Izumi shook her head, her mouth moving, but no words coming. She finally pursed her limps, utterly digusted, and looked at me. "Don't do it."

"Why not?" I asked, feeling a bit dissapointed. "I mean... mathematics suck."

"Because he could hurt you," Izumi said. "God knows what that... that... selfish son of a _bitch_ is capable of."

"And here's the part where you breathe," Kagura said patting Izumi's shoulder. "Calm down. I'm sure there's a reason why Yitoren-san is doing this." Izumi stared at her and Kagura glared. "It's not like I'm completely comfortable with it either! He's still a self-centered idiot."

"Well... what's the big deal?" I asked. I heard an erruption of loud voices, and mean comments, from both Kagura and Izumi. I waved my hands and cringed. "Guys, GUYS! He just offered help... he could be sincere."

"Yitoren? Being sincere?" Izumi laughed wryly. "Not at all! He's just a-"

"Weren't you the one who took a chance on Kyo?" I bursted out, unexpected, and looked at her. This was true, and she knew it. She had told me all about it in one of the first weeks I had met her. She was staring, mouth open wide, her eyes shocked. I felt like slapping myself for saying such a thing, but I did not flinch. I finally sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'll just ask him for help in mathematics."

Izumi scoffed. "I'm a second year. I know more than he does."

"In mathematics?" Kagura questioned, unbelieving. Izumi looked disgruntled. Kagura smiled, sympathetically. "I may be a first year, as well as Risa-chan over here, but we all have to admit... math sucks." She then suddenly rounded on me. "Although I don't know why _him_!"

So it was decided, although neither Kagura or Izumi wanted it, that I would ask Satoshi for help the next day. Izumi left, grumbling curses and Kagura just sighed. I asked her why she wasn't as mad as Izumi and she shrugged. With a sleepy reply, she said that she liked to look at both sides of an argument... she was taught that way from her childhood.

She's becoming a lawyer, did you know that?

But anyway... tomorrow. Yes. I'm going to go ask Satoshi for help. Although now, as I think about it, I really don't want to. I mean... I really, really, _really_ don't want to.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you guys liked it! Review me and I'll know for sure (smile).


	7. Different Day, Different Class

**A/N:** I really DESPISE rushing like this, but... im just OCD or something and i want x-mas to be as close to the holidays as possible. thanks SO much for the reviews! I luv it when u guys review me! Review again cause i need to know if i screwed up in a chapter... and yes, u'll find out what happened... eventually...

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Chapter 7 

Sensei Smith is one of the most boring teachers I have ever met. He is also one of the most interesing _males_ I have ever met. Strange how he contradicts himself like that. He stands in front of the class, using his duck-like voice to talk to us about how women get pregnant or something, then tells us to study the notes for homework. Like we even bothered to _take_ notes. Then, on the second term, I sometimes talk to him after class... by complete accident. All I have to say is 'good-bye' and we have an entire conversation on spagetti. It's insane, really. He's a nice guy, but... boring as all hell.

It was kind of natural that I didn't pay attention to him during class. I was actually looking at the one white spot on the blackboard. Yes, it was very... intersting. Every now and then, I would glance up at Satoshi to see if he was... I don't know... alive. He was, but he wouldn't look happy. Then, I'd look away again, feeling more guilty than before. I was angry that I couldn't gather the strength to ask him for help when he was the one that had offered.

I finally sighed quietly, annoyed with myself, and tore off a piece of paper from my "notes". I wrote:

_I need help with math._

on the little scrap and held onto it. I should have passed it to him, but for some stupid reason, I didn't. God, I don't like myself very much. Instead of passing it to him, like I should have done, I continued to stare at my little white dot. That is... until Sensei Smith used me in one of his examples.

"Harada-san," Sensei Smith called on me and I perked my head up. He was smiling and motioning for me to stand and come over to him. "Would you like to volunteer? I'm trying something new today."

"Uhh..." I blinked, but stood anyway. I walked over to where he was pointing at, then saw the curious looks of the students. "Umm... what am I doing again?"

Sensei Smith ignored me. "Now, lets talk about **SEX**." He purposefully emphasized the last word so all of us were paying attention. "More importantly, let's talk about **SEX** before marriage." I saw Satoshi's eyes go wide as he stared at his paper, then slowly picked his head up to look at me. Both of us looked sorry. The class members looked at each other, unsure of what to say.

"Sensei Smith," a student raised his hand. "Why are we talking about that?"

"We all agree that Harada-san is an attractive girl, correct?" Sensei asked the class, ignoring the boy.

A few students mumbled things I couldn't hear. I felt my stomach fall... off of a building... that was ten times higher than Mt. Everest... and maybe two feet taller than that. My body temperature rose to a dangerous level, and I covered my face with my hands. Sensei Smith, being the stupid teacher he is, continued.

"Actually, Harada-san is _very_ attractive, isn't she? I'd go as far as saying that she is _beautiful_." He then chuckled. "Well, with the exception of her few stitches."

Everyone in the class nodded or shrugged, actually becoming a bit used to it. I wasn't. Not at all. My hand shot up to touch the small bandage that covered part of my forehead.

"Now, when most guys look at her, they begin to think things," Sensei Smith was still smiling. "What types of things do you think they think?"

"She is _hot_!" I heard one boy shout from the back of the room. Everyone chuckled, but I felt my knees give out. This was so embarassing. Once that kid shouted, everyone jumped in. I heard things like:

"She's _pretty_."

"She is one _sexy_ female."

"I want to _bang_ her so bad!"

_Dear God... are you there? It's me, Risa. I don't know if you know, but... I'M BEING MADE A FOOL OUT OF! Oh, this is so wrong in so many ways..._

I shook my head, not even the slightest bit flatered. I couldn't lift my head and I could feel my shoulders slumping. For a second, I wondered what Satoshi's face was like.

"Stand up straight, it'll be fine," Sensei Smith whispered in my ear, patting my shoulder.

I felt so angry... and fine at the same time. Damn that contradicting man. I lifted my head the slightest bit and glared at him. His reassuring smile was strangely calming to me and I sighed. I dragged the hands away from my face and shook my head, pursing my lips and straightening my posture. The guys began clapping at my "bravery".

"Yes, yes, those are all good examples," Sensei Smith said. "That last one I heard. Talking about banging her..." Everyone laughed as the one kid blushed and said a meak: "Oops." I rolled my eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

_I hate you_, I thought, cursing the gods above.

"No, no!" Sensei said. "That's fine. That's fine. Well, for now it is. If you say that to her in the halls, you might be charged with sexual harassment. But in here, it's fine." The guys hollered and I put one hand above my eyes. Sensei Smith's hand was still on my shoulder so he just gently pushed the hand away. I don't know why I let him do that, but I did... and I didn't like myself for doing it. "Now... tell me... why did I chose to repeat that one sentance?"

"Because it's true," one boy said a little too loud. The class laughed and I found myself giggling. Not like I was flatered by the comment, but... it was just a little funny. Other boys said other stupid things and before I knew it, the entire room was roaring with laughter.

Sensei Smith, however, had not laughed as hard as the boys did. He knew something that no one else in the room knew. He took a breath, realizing that he might completely ruin the class' fun. "Now, I'm going to tell you a little bit about Risa, ok?" Everyone applauded and Sensei Smith continued.

"Risa and her boyfriend just broke up, after only several months," he began thoughtfully. "She broke up with him... because she is pregnant with his child. He took her out clubbing, had sex with her, then left her. He told her that he would not take care of her child."

As soon as he said this, the entire class grew quiet. They blinked at him and he just shrugged. His smile was fading into a sad one and he looked at me. None of this was true, but I knew where he was going with it all. I was quiet. I couldn't even dare to look at what Satoshi's reaction was.

"And!" Sensei went on, turning to the class. "She could very well have an STD. _And_ she's being sexually harassed by more than half of the student population. Did you know that?" The class stared. I swallowed and closed my eyes. "She shows all the signs, you know. How can you not see it?"

"Her skin isn't purple," one girl said shyly.

"Ah, but that only comes along _after_ it's too late. HIV can lay hidden inside a body for years," Sensei Smith commented. "Pregnancy, on the other hand, you can tell. Not in the first month or so, but later on, you can."

The erie silence that he left us in were possibly the longest quiet moments in my life. I finally gained enough strength to glance over at Satoshi. He was glaring at his book, but not really reading what he had written. He gulped as his eyes shifted from object to object, thinking about what Sensei had said.

I looked up at Sensei Smith, and saw that he was no longer smiling.

"I wonder," Sensei said softly. "When you see this girl walking down the halls, will you still think the same thoughts?" He paused, looking around the class. I felt his grip tightened on my shoulder as everyone looked at their feet ashamed. "This is what _sex_ before marriage can do to you."

The bell rang and all of us jumped. There was a scramble where all the kids were grabbing their papers, books, and backpacks, and jumping down the steps. I felt Sensei's hand move from my shoulder and I inhaled deeply.

"Thank you for a good class, ladies and gentleman!" Sensei smith called, somehow appearing at his desk. "Homework is to study the notes. Have a good day!"

The students exited the room in almost silence, a few murmuring things here and there. I waited for all of the kids to pass by, and continued to breathe. I walked over to my seat, slowly picked up my things, then walked back over to Sensei. He was doing his work, quietly signing papers and grading projects. I didn't move for a while, even when the second bell rang, signaling that we should be in out next class. I was surprised that he let me stay.

"Yes, Harada-san," Sensei said after another moment of silence. He looked up from his papers and removed his glasses. He only wore them when he was reading anyway. "What can I do for you?"

"That..." I cleared my throat and caughed a bit. "That was a very good lesson today, Sensei. I... just wanted to say thank you... for teaching us that." Why I was saying these words was just beyond my comprehension. Yet, I said them, and I meant them. Although I don't know why I was saying them now. I could have easily said them tomorrow or something. Strange how life works.

Sensei Smith smiled sadly at me and nodded. He took out a packet of green slips of paper and began writing information. He was writing me a pass to my next class. As he sloppily wrote his signature, he glanced at his watch and raised an eyebrow. "And I suppose you need a pass too, Yitoren-san?"

My mouth fell open and I turned my head to the door. There he stood, leaning against the frame, book in one hand. He was just standing there... waiting. I thought he had left long before then. Satoshi nodded his head and stood upright. Sensei Smith held out two slips of green paper and I took them. He gave me one last smile, nodded, then waved his hand, dismissing me. I closed my open mouth and walked away from the room. Satoshi followed close behind.

Hey... how did Sensei Smith know he was there anyway? He was looking at his watch!

* * *

"What the hell were you doing!" I exploded once we were a safe distance from Sensei's room. Satoshi, who had been walking beside me, without saying a word. He flinched, surprised that I had burst at him. "Why didn't you leave!" 

Satoshi looked a bit lost for a moment, then shrugged. "We need to set up a time for math." I must have looked like he had grown three heads becuase he rolled his eyes. Reaching into his pocket, he took out the small piece of scrap paper that I had written on earlier. "I found this." I opened and closed my mouth, trying to find words to insult him, but I couldn't say anything. I finally just shut my mouth and quickened my pace.

"Well, whatever," I huffed. "My cell's on that paper so call me when you're free..."

"Hey, wait..."

I felt his hand close around my elbow and squeaked. Yes, I _squeaked_. Like some... rat or something! I just full out squeaked. I whirled around and faced him, my face flushing red. He was just looking at me... again. When was he not staring at me like that? It was becoming annoying. I found myself glaring at him, but we said nothing. I didn't realize it, but I was staring into his eyes... and I couldn't look away.

Was it just me or was he a little close? Oh, yes. He was definitely closer than I thought he was. I thought he didn't like human contact...

"I need my pass."

I blinked, confussed. He glanced down at my hand, then back to me. Or my eyes, I should say. I looked at my hand and found that I was indeed still in posession of his pass. I fumbled with it for a second, because he was still holding onto my one arm... and for some weird reason, I didn't want to move that arm. I finally shoved his pass in his one hand and looked away. He didn't thank me or anything, just nodded and turned to leave. When his hand left my arm, it left an empty sort of feeling... it was a little cold.

"Good job in class today," he called before he turned a corner. My eyes shot up at his smaller figure, and saw him looking right back at me. Why were we always looking at each other anyway? It was so stupid! And annoying... and odd... and _stupid_! "You handled yourself well."

"Uhh... y-you too," I stammered, unsure of what else to say. He left then, turning a corner and leaving me to stand in the hallway... all by myself.

It wasn't my scar that scared him off, was it?

* * *

**A/N:** A litte more serious than other chapters, but... in the next chapter... **WTF**? Yitoren-san and Risa are on a date! Oh, oh, it's just the rumors... or is it? Yes, it is... no, seriously, it is. It says so in the chapter! Geez, guys! Stop wishfully thinking! But why would the rumors have started in the first place? Now, _that_ is the question... 


	8. Study Sessions Are Odd

**A/N:** Thanks so much for the reviews! Keep 'em coming and I'd luv u all forever and ever! Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Chapter 8 

As I stared at my homework, I groaned. The list of math problems that I was forced to do seemed endless. And the fact that I wasn't doing any of it didn't help much. I hadn't really noticed that I was zoning out until Kagura burst into the room, giggling and talking to her one friend on her cell phone. I immediately snapped to attention and looked at my blank piece of paper. I scowled.

"Hey there, Risa-chan," Kagura greeted me after hanging up her phone. She flopped down on her bed and smiled at me. "What are you up to?"

"Homework," I mumbled with a sigh.

"Wipe the drool from your face," she instructed. Embarassed, I did and gave her a weak smile. She smiled back, then looked confussed. "Isn't that ass supposed to help you?"

"Who, Satoshi?" I blurted out his name before I could even think, and gasped. Both hands shot to my mouth and covered it as Kagura's eyes grew big.

"Satoshi _who_?" she asked suspiciously. "And why are you on first-name basis with this guy?"

I felt the heat rush to my face and I shook my head. Not only had I given away Satoshi's real identity (was it really a secret anyway?), but Kagura thought that I was in love with some random guy! Not like I should care about this, but I did anyway. "He's no one. Really."

"No one, huh?" Kagura questioned. "If you use his first name, then isn't he _someone_?"

I shook my head again. Why the hell was my body getting so hot? "He's... he doesn't even exist. He's... I don't know. He's my imaginary boyfriend." Kagura laughed and I prayed that she would just leave it at that. She did and I was thankful. As she started up a conversation about what could be in the school's lunch tomorrow, my cell phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered it.

"Are you free?" The voice from the other line sounded like a recording. If it weren't for the next thing he said, I would have hung up. "Do you still need help with math?"

"Uhh..." It was almost unreal to me that Satoshi had called. I really thought that he would ignore me. "Y-yes. I'm still having trouble with math, but-"

"Meet me at the football stadium," he said, cutting me off.

"Now?" I replied, surprised. "But I'm-" I stopped when I heard a tone. He had hung up on me! Angered, I closed my phone and threw it on the desk. "What an ignorant, irrespectable, no good...!"

"Was that the ass?" Kagura asked. I crossed my arms and nodded, still grumbling insults. Kagura just shrugged. "Come on. I'll walk you to wherever you're going."

* * *

I packed my math book and a few peices of paper into my small bag, slung it over my shoulder, and walked with Kagura to the football field. She kept me light-hearted with talk of her friends and their idiocy. We insulted ourselves, talking about how slow we were, mentally, and laughed about silly girl things. Again, she brought up the possibilities of what would be in tomorrow's lunch. I decided that I didn't want my stomach to come out of my mouth so we avoided the subject. 

I shivered in the cool wind as we approached the field. "Why are we outside when we could have gone to his dorm room or something?"

"Do you _want _to go into his dorm room, Risa-chan?" Kagura asked. I didn't notice the slyness in her tone until she laughed at me. I stared at her, horrified.

"N-no!" I stammered. "I-it's just th-that... it's fall! The end of November! I mean... Christmas season is in the air, and... it's cold outside!"

"Sure, uh huh." Kagura waved it away, still giggling. "Whatever, Risa-chan."

"Well, it is!" My voice became extremely high-pitched and Kagura burst out laughing again. I was embarassed so I looked away and saw Satoshi standing at the gates, waiting for us. He saw Kagura laughing and didn't look pleased. When had he _ever_ looked pleased?

"Hey there, Yitoren-san," Kagura greeted him more friendly than I expected. "Risa just wanted a friend to walk with her. Don't die of humiliation, I'm leaving right now."

Satoshi looked at her for a second, then cleared his throat and shrugged. I stayed quiet throughout this. I didn't want to say anything that Kagura could twist around. She smiled at me, telling me something I couldn't understand with her facial features.

"Well, see you guys!" she said with a wave. I was relieved when she turned and began walking, but then she stopped. I cursed silently. "Oh, Yitoren-san..." she faced him with an ominous-looking smile. "Don't try any tricks tonight, ok? Not only will you have to answer to me and Izumi, but Risa's got an _imaginary_ boyfriend." She said imaginary as if it were a lie. "His name is Satoshi or something and they're in love. Heard he's a real tough guy too, so... no tricks, ok?"

She turned and walked away, leaving me to cover my face with my hands. I felt Satoshi staring at me and I shivered. Now _I_ was humiliated. There was a long moment of awkward silence, then Satoshi caughed.

"Come on," he said. He was walking away and I quickly followed behind.

"Where are we going?" I asked. "You said the football-"

"It's too cold," he replied. "We're taking a drive to someplace warmer."

"Wait." I stopped walking when he reached his car and opened the door. He stood, looking at me expectantly. "We're going off-campus?"

Satoshi rolled his eyes. "We're allowed to. It's not against the rules. Now get in. You look like you're freezing."

Indeed I was freezing, but I wasn't going to tell him that. "I am not freezing." I sniffed back the running mucus and climbed into his car.

It was really, really, _really_ nice. He had leather seats, with seat warmers, and the best heating system ever. He also had that special kind of satelite radio, an expensive-looking stereo, a sun roof... yeah. He was loaded. I didn't want to be selfish so I didn't touch anything except for the seatbelt. He backed out of the parking space, then stopped.

He said nothing, however, just pressed a few buttons. I felt the seat begin to warm up, and a blast of warm air came out of vents near me. The radio was on some kind of classical music station and I sighed. This actually wasn't all that bad.

"So where are we going?" I asked again once we were on the main road. He glanced at me, then sighed. He still remained quiet, which kind of made me angry. "You know, you _could_ answer me. It's not like talking to me will kill you." He flinched at the word 'kill', but refused to show any emotion. I crossed my arms and looked out the window. "I'm just saying, you _could_ be nice to me. Especially after being so rude."

"When was I rude?" Satoshi asked. Ha! I got him to actually say something!

"When you ditched me at the party," I pointed out. "And when you came into my room in the Nurse's Office only to ignore me. _And_ when you pretended like you didn't even know me when I first saw you here..."

"I _don't_ know you," Satoshi said evenly. We stopped at a red light and he turned his head to me. I shrank when he looked me in the eyes. "I've never met you before in my life."

The amount of unreasonable pain seemed to overcome my anger and I just shook my head. I chose to stare at the dashboard instead of doing anything else. Both of us were silent through the next couple of lights, then he turned to me again.

"I'm Kazutaka Yitoren," he said, as if introducing himself for the first time. "And your name is...?"

"You already know my name," I said sternly. "But if you _must_ act like I'm a stranger... I'm Risa Harada."

"Nice to meet you, Harada-san."

He held out his hand to shake and I rolled my eyes. Stiffly, I reached out and shook it. The rest of the ride was in silence, and it was the most awkward car ride of my life. We finally reached a small cafe and he parked the car. We hurried inside and sat down at a table.

Then he did something I never thought he would do. Never in a million years.

"Do you want anything?" he asked, reaching into his pocket.

"I've actually been craving hot chocolate for the past several days," I said, not thinking. I began to take out my math book, but he stood. I froze. "Uhh... where-?"

"I'll be right back," he said simply.

He left without saying anything else and I wasn't sure of what to do. He was _not_ supposed to be buying me a drink. We were just supposed to go over math homework! I then gasped. It was almost like... a _date_. I looked around to see if there were any people from school there. I saw none.

Was I embarassed to be with him or something?

I cleared the sore spot in my throat as Satoshi returned with two full, styrofoam cups. He went to get some creamer and sugar for his coffee, and I hesitated at drinking my hot chocolate. After looking around three times, and making sure that he wasn't watching, I took a sip. At first it burnt my tonuge, but I took another sip, and was glad of the hot liquid that eased my mind. Satoshi returned and added the components to his coffee.

"You really didn't have to do that," I said, taking the cup in my hands, but refusing to look at him. "I could have bought it myself."

"What are you having trouble with in math class?" he asked, choosing to ignore my last statement.

And so the time passed by, carrying all the attempts that Satoshi had at explaining mathematics to me with it. He tried more than several tactics, but it all still looked like gibberish. After some time, a lightbulb went off in my mind and I was beginning to understand. He was probably getting frustrated, however, because I would always do one of two things. Joke around, or tease him because he was too smart. I wanted to bring up past events to see if I could get him to accidentally say something about Middle School, but I decided against it. I was laughing and he seemed to be lightening up a bit. I didn't want to chance the good mood.

We ended up spending two and a half hours in that cafe, thanks to my ADD. It was dark by the time we reached the campus. Satoshi parked the car, but did not turn off the engine. Neither of us wanted to get out and brave the cold weather. All I could do was melt into the leather seat or close my eyes...

"Do you really have an imaginary boyfriend named Satoshi?"

He asked this question out of nowhere, and I couldn't answer the question immediately. "Uhh..." He looked at me, and I felt my face heat up. I noticed that my face heated up a lot whenever he was involved in a conversation. It was... odd. "I don't. I just let your... I mean... Kagura and I were talking when I was trying to do my math homework, and she asked if 'the ass' was supposed to be helping me..."

"So they call me an ass," he repeated. I felt guilty, but he merely shrugged it away.

"Well... I thought you were someone else, and I wasn't paying attention, so I tried to clarify by questioning the name Satoshi," I said, carefully making sure not to say something wrong and annoy him. "And Kagura got the wrong idea, and asked who he was. So I told her, jokingly, that he's my imaginary boyfriend."

Satoshi seemed to ponder this, but he remained silent. I couldn't really add anything to our 'conversation'. So I unbuckled my seat belt, took my bag, and opened the door. The wind was a lot colder than I predicted. It was as if I had just jumped out of the hot shower, into an ice box, with no clothes on. And I hadn't even stepped out of the car!

"Hang on." Before I could exit the vehicle, Satoshi had leaned across my seat and closed the car door. I was thankful once the cold wind had stopped blowing on me. Satoshi was too, because he sighed and stayed in that position. It was then that I noticed that his hand was overtop of mine.

And for some bizarre reason, all time seemed to stand still.

"U-um..." I stammered, my breath getting caught in my throat. I didn't want to say anything rude, becuase Satoshi didn't really know what he was doing, and he was acting like... well, like he wasn't practically holding my hand.

Satoshi straightened up, letting go of my hand, and restarted the engine again. I couldn't get a good look at his face, but he still acted as if that small half of a minute never happened.

"Where is your dorm room?" he asked, backing out of the parking space. I told him, with a good amount of stammering, and he drove me around the campus. I stared at the door entering to the wing where my room was. He actually _drove_ me to the door. Although I should have left, I didn't. I don't know why, but I didn't want to either.

"U-um... thank you, Hi- I mean... Yitoren-san," I said, gripping my bag. Satoshi shook his head, telling me that it was nothing, and I smiled at him. "U-um... g-good night, then." Maybe it was just my hearing, but just before I closed the car door, from the outside, I thought I heard him say something. It sounded like he had said good night also, but I wasn't sure. And I wasn't about to find out.

When I was back in my cosy dorm room, Kagura was asleep. It should have been a peaceful night, beacuse Satoshi had been kind to me. But, as I climbed into bed that night, I began to worry. I wondered why I had not wanted to leave the car...

It was the warmth. Just the heating system or somethng like that. It _must_ have been.

* * *

**A/N:** Hmm... is Risa changing her mind? How should I know? I'm only the author anyway...


	9. Projects, Pain, and Party Planning

**A/N:** I hadn't realized how rushed this chapter seemed until, like... today. So please forgive me. I had no other way of fitting everything in the story! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! (even though I will probably post another chapter Christmas day or a day later. but anyway...)HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Thanks soooooooooooo much for the reviews and enjoy the chapter with as many reviews as you want (smile).

* * *

Chapter 9 

I'm really starting to worry. I mean... what if I'm wrong? What if this guy, who I think is Satoshi, really isn't Satoshi? What if he really is some random Japanese guy from somewhere I've never heard of with a name Kazutaka Yitoren? I mean... last night, when he was helping me study, he really didn't seem to know me at all. He didn't act, or mention, any of my problems from the past. When he asked about my imaginary boyfriend... well, it was as if he didn't know...

That would mean I made a complete fool of myself! Not that I haven't done that already, but... still.

Oh, and he's actually being _nice_ to me. I mean... more polite than before. That's one unusual thing. One very... very... _very_ unusual thing.

I was really embarassed to face him the next day. I went into our class, not really looking forward to seeing him because of what happened the night before. Oh, and the little incident last night that had me blushing at the sound of his name. Yeah, you can thank my roommate for that. Not only had Kagura bugged me nonstop, but she told Izumi that we had gone on a date. An actual _date_! Can you believe her? Now, I'm betting the entire school knows about it. Poor Satoshi was probably dying of embarassment by now. Having a rumor spread about dating me. _Me_, of all people...

"Welcome to class, everyone!" Sensei Smith greeted us more cheerfully than he usually did. "Please, take your seats." We all did so, and I was surprised to see that Satoshi wasn't sitting next to me. "I have a new project for you!"

The class groaned as Sensei handed out pieces of paper. I took mine and passed the others, then set the paper on my desk. I didn't really want to see what it was anyway, so why bother? I was a better listener than reader; I learned better that way.

"Ah, Yitoren-san!" Sensei exclaimed, waving at the door. All of us looked to see Satoshi standing in the doorway. "You're just in time to accept your new project! Come! Sit!"

Sensei handed Satoshi a peice of paper, and he sat down. Maybe it was just me, but it seemed like Satoshi was collapsing into the chair... and before, when he was standing in the doorway... he didn't look right. I mean... something was wrong. His hair was messier than usual, his clothes looked baggy and worn, his face was paler than usual, and his eyes. They were... I don't really know how to explain it. The intensity that had always been there seemed... weakened. Like there was not a whole lot of life left in him.

I was about to ask if he was feeling alright, but Sensei opened his mouth.

"Now, this project is simple, usually used in High Schools," Sensei Smith told us. "Yet, because I am a college professor, I have the authority to force you to do this project again."

Sensei Smith went on to explain the project and what it was about. At a minimum of 100 points, I estimated that I would have to work about... a week or so to get an A. Why did this have to happen in _my_ life?

The class ended later on, and I managed to catch up with Satoshi. He wasn't moving very fast after all. Actually... he was still in the classroom when I was about to leave. It looked like it pained him to move. So he moved very, very slowly. I became concerned.

"Hi- I mean... Yitoren-san," I said, standing and gathering my books. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he muttered, not looking at me. He stood himself, and picked up his bag. I thought I heard him hiss in pain.

"You just look tired," I said for no reason at all. "I was worried."

"You shouldn't worry about me," Satoshi said a little too harshly. "I must be going..."

I let him go, anger and concern swirling inside me. He had seemed so rude! Then again, I would be too if I had a rumor spread about me dating a person I didn't like very much. And what about his pain? Why was he lying? I _know_ he was in pain. He can't lie to me, I saw it! I also continued to see it throughout the next couple of weeks. It was really starting to bug me.

No one should be in that much pain. Especially during the spirit of Christmas days. What with all the decorations, the professors begining to be in a better mood, the lights in the city, and the Christmas songs! No one should have to miss all this happiness! Even if they are a somewhat rude, ignorant jerk that only helps me with my homework because he has nothing better to do...

Besides, Satoshi never showed emotion. Ever.

* * *

"Risa-chan," Kagura said, awakening me from my zone-out session. I blinked a few times, and focused my attention on my friend. I had to lean in a bit closer to hear her over the noise level of the cafeteria. "Izumi's having her anual Christmas party. Kyo volunteered for it to be at his house. She asked to make sure that you could come." 

I smiled, happy that I was included in their close bond of friendship. "Of course I can come. When is it?"

"Uhh... Christmas Eve," Kagura said, raising an eyebrow like I was the stupedest being on the face of the earth.

"Oh." I could say nothing else, feeling my cheeks heat up. I smiled weakly as she laughed at me, then kicked her shins from underneath the table. "Shut up! Now, from what to what?"

"From..." Kagura paused, thinking. "Six-thirty to eleven."

I nodded. "I can make it." Kagura kept talking about the party and what it was going to be like. I sort of drifted off again, my thoughts wandering. Somehow, someway, by a really odd chance of fate, Satoshi popped into my mind. I blurted out what I was thinking before I knew what was going on. "Is Satoshi going to be there?"

Kagura stopped talking immediately and stared at me. "Again with this Satoshi kid! Geez, Risa-chan, you _must_ have a thing for him-"

"I do not!" I cried, mentally kicking myself. "He doesn't even go to this school." Does he?

"Well, if you tell me what school he goes to, I can arrange something," Kagura suggested.

"No!" I said sternly. "Don't. I'm serious." She began laughing and I lowered my head a bit. "It's bad enough that you're bugging me about Yitoren-san..."

"Oh, that guy?" Kagura gave me a reassuring smile. "It's ok. He's actually been a gentleman to you lately so I talked Izumi into letting him into the party. You just have to ask him."

"Are you serious?" I asked, not truly believing what I was hearing.

Kagura nodded. "Of course I am! Everything that I've heard about him was negative. Always negative. For the past month and a half, he's proved me wrong. Strange... that you were the one who pretty much opened him up..."

"It wasn't me," I protested. I then stopped. "Was it?" Kagura simply nodded, telling me that I was being stupid again. I could only shake my head. "He hasn't even opened up. Not really, anyway."

"I took a poll with all of his old classmates," Kagura informed me, poking at her lunch. "Trust me. He opened up."

I felt the heat increase on my cheeks, and I kept my head low. I heard the bell ring and I thanked the gods. "See you later, Kagura-chan." I quickly walked from the scene, afraid that I would say something I didn't want to... again.

* * *

"Are you doing anything this Christmas?" I asked Satoshi during one of our study sessions. We were in our usual cafe, and there were Christmas decorations everywhere. I was in a good mood because my grades were improving, and the last day of school before break was tomorrow. Meaning Christmas Eve was the day after tomorrow. And so was the party. 

Yet, Satoshi was different. I mean... I could still see pain in his eyes, although he hid it very well... but he looked like he dreaded Christmas. Despite all the decorations and music. I was worried. I mean... I had been thinking. What does he usually do for Christmas? Anything? It would be a sad thing if he did nothing on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. So, because Kagura said it was ok, I was going to ask him if he wanted to go to Izumi's party.

Satoshi picked up his head, which had been lying on the table, and blinked at me. His glasses were crooked, and it looked at if they were in a painful position. Without thinking, I leaned forward and gently took them from his face.

"If you're going to fall asleep on me, then I suggest taking the glasses from your face," I said, folding the wires and setting them near my books. I turned my attention back to Satoshi, who was squinting.

"Why ask?" he said, after a breif moment of silence. He yawned, and I saw him wince. He tried to hide it with a fake look of curiosity.

I shrugged, playing with the straw in my hot chocolate cup. "Well... my friend, Izumi, is having her anual Christmas party... at her boyfriend's house. Kyo's house."

"So are you going?" he asked me, blinking hard a few times. "It would be a shame if you missed the fun."

I was touched at his concern, but I couldn't help but feel bad for him. He was always so concerned with... well, me. "Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come."

"Would your friends allow it?" I avoided his gaze when he brought this up, and I heard a dry chuckle. "I know what people think of me, Harada-san."

I twitched, like I always did when he called me that. "It's Risa. And Kagura told me herself that Izumi would allow you to be there... without getting beaten." There was silence, and I looked up at him to see if I had said the wrong thing. He was just... _staring_ at me. The intensity, the one that had been missing for the past weeks, was back. A part of me jumped with happiness, the other sank. That look he was giving me... I just didn't like it. I cleared my throat and rolled my eyes. "If you don't want to, then-"

"No." He stopped me, thinking. His gaze left me for a second, and he looked at his hands, which were placed neatly on the table top. "I'm just wondering if you're serious..." At first, I was just watching him. I mean... it had been a while since I had seen him without the glasses... and... he didn't look half bad. Reasonably attractive, actually. Well... ok, he was _REALLY_ attractive! But I would never tell him _that_...

"Of course I'm serious!" I snapped. He was talking more than he usually did, which was good, and his intense gaze was back, and he wasn't ignoring me either. So... why was I so annoyed? "Why wouldn't I be?"

Satoshi sighed, creating a soft groan from the back of his throat. "No reason."

It was then that the lightbulb finally went on. "Did something happen in past Christmases, Hi- I mean... Yitoren-san?"

Satoshi stood, grabbed his glasses, kind of shoved them on his face, and began walking away. "Nothing happened. Come on, we need to get going."

"So you're coming?" I asked, part of me wanting him to say yes, part of me wanting him to say no.

He didn't answer me for a minute, but when we reached the car, he opened the shotgun door for me. "As long as we don't do anything couple-like."

I felt myself heat up and I smiled weakly. "Is there a rumor going around?"

Much to my surprise, I could see a faint shade of pink glowing on Satoshi's cheeks. He cleared his throat, put on an annoyed face, and walked around to the driver's seat. "As a matter of fact, there is. And it's really begining to get on my nerves."

* * *

**A/N:** In the next chapter: The day of the party arrives. Yitoren-san seems... different. Very different. And (gasp) a truth circle? (pause) What the hell is a truth circle? 


	10. Memories of a Friend

Chapter 10

The last day of school before break, everyone was exchanging gifts and talking about Izumi's party. There were going to be a lot of people at Kyo's house, so I signed up with him, Izumi, Kagura, and a couple other Losers to help clean up his house when the party was over. I was actually looking forward to it. Not cleaning up, I mean. Just the hanging with my friends all night long until the sun pretty much came up. Kyo offered for us to stay at his house for Christmas Day too, getting some rest and what not. He even set up a Christmas tree and stockings with our names on them for the 'special ocassion'.

When I told Satoshi about me staying late for the clean-up crew, I did not expect him to volunteer as well.

"You really don't have to," I told him, touched. "Really. It's going to get a little gross, with all the crap littered everywhere, and I don't want you spending your Christmas helping me... especially since you've been great about the study sessions..."

"It's fine, Harada-san," he said as we walked down the hall, our Child Care and Education class just ending.

"It's Risa," I said with a roll of the eyes. "And I'll have to check with Kyo-"

"Ah, it's fine, Risa-chan," Kyo said, suddenly appearing next to me. "If Yitoren-san wants to come, I think that's fine."

"I'll get him his stocking," Izumi volunteered, appearing next to her boyfriend. She smiled at Satoshi, whereas he could only stare at her. I found myself doing the exact same thing. Izumi, confused about why we were so stunned, just shrugged. "You don't have to look at me like that, it only costs a few bucks..."

"I have to go," Satoshi said quickly, spotting the one hallway he always walked down. He then gave Izumi and Kyo a greatful bow. I'm not even kidding. He actually _bowed_. "Thank you for your generosity, but I have no need for a stocking. Thank you, Kimonko-san, for allowing me to assist you in your clean-up." He then left, with all of us looking after him.

"Wow, Risa-chan," Kyo said, impressed. "You really shaped him up. Actually _bowing_ to us..."

"I didn't teach him that!" I snappeddefensively. "I didn't _teach_ him anything!" I paused. "And why are you guys so nice to him all of a sudden?"

"Because," Kyo said with a shrug. "He's really nice to you, Risa-chan. After everything that Izumi told me, I expected him to be just as mean to me and to you. But... I don't know... after you started talking to him, he's been resonably nice."

"And if Kyo says he's nice, then trust me... he's nice," Izumi added. "Besides, I agree. I thought he would just disown you and leave you to cry a river or something. But he has been quite a gentleman to you... and it's rubbing off on others too."

I could say nothing else as Izumi and Kyo continued talking about the party. Not only was I reflecting on their words, but the one sentance that Satoshi had said kept echoing in my mind.

_"Thank you for your generosity, but I have no need for a stocking."_

_Does he get Christmas presents? _I wondered to myself. I immediately felt bad because, although I had put a lot of effort into getting Izumi, Kyo, and Kagura a gift, I never once thought of Satoshi.

Oh, dear God... what kind of person am I!

* * *

I stood in front of Kyo's house, partially freezing my ass off, partially enjoy the cold, winter night. Along with waiting for Satoshi, I was stargazing. It was strange, how the sky was so clear only on a night when I couldn't stay to look it. It made me remember my Middle School years, when I would foolishly follow Dark around, just to get a glimpse of my one, true love. Ha. So much for that. It was hard, the way I came to figure out Dark's real feelings. I used to cry, looking at the stars late at night. I guess once I matured, I would look up at the stars and laugh. I really was foolish when I was younger. 

As yet another group of people walked by me, I mumbled to myself and crossed my arms. I wasn't complaining or anything. I was just watching the stars, figuring out the constillations. I saw many of them that night, but I was looking for the North Star. Every single time I thought I had seen it, however, it wouldn't be there anymore. Stupid, elusive North Star. It has always been a tradidition every time I stargaze to look for the North Star. It's been that way ever since I first became interested in astrology. When a hand enclosed around my shoulder, I was pulled from my calm state of mind.

In other words, I yelped like someone had just stabbed me.

Satoshi stepped back, surprised. My hands coverd my mouth and his cleanched into fists. It took us a few seconds to realize who we were staring at. I then sighed, relaxing. I rubbed my face with my warm, fuzzy gloves, trying to hide my blush. He really shouldn't come up behind people like that.

"Did I scare you?" Satoshi finally asked. I lowered my hands to glare at him, but saw a strange feature across his face. It was as if he was struggling against something. I wasn't sure what it was... but it looked an awful lot like a smirk.

"Are you laughing at me?" I breathed, unbelieving. Satoshi struggled some more, then put a hand to his mouth, trying to act like he was becoming thoughtful. But I knew better. He was hiding a smirk. He was smirking at me! "_You_-!" I stopped, trying to sum up all the insulting things I could have said into one, horrible word. I sputtered a bit, but then heard a chuckle. A low chuckle... and a snorting sound... and a high-pitched squeak. He shook his head, waving a hand at me, and turned so I wouldn't see something. Dear god, he _was_ laughing at me! What an insulting, ignorant-!

Wait...

He was laughing. _He_ was laughing. He was _laughing_!

All I could do was stare, open-mouthed. Satoshi glanced back at me, still trying to hide a smirk, then sighed. He bit his lower lip, then shrugged and cleared his throat.

"Shall we go in?" His voice pitch went up at the end of the sentance as he continued to strugle with himself.

I nodded, numbly, as he walked a few paces ahead of me. He rang the doorbell and we waited. Kyo and Izumi answered the door, and Izumi beamed at me. I gave her a questioning look, but she pulled me into a hug.

"Merry Christmas!" she squealed, then let me go. I couldn't help but smile at her. "Come! We're all playing a question game in the living room!" She rushed ahead of me, and I called back to her.

"Wait! I don't know where the living room is!" I glanced back at Satoshi and Kyo. They had shaken hands and wished each other a merry Christmas, and now Kyo was joking with him. I was thrown back into shock when I saw Satoshi shake his head at something Kyo said, and _smile_. It was a small smile, as if he was a good acquantence with Kyo, which he kind of wasn't. But... he was... he actually looked... happy.

"Ah, Risa-chan!" Kyo said, smiling at me. He gave me a small hug and patted my shoulder. "Merry Christmas!"

I smiled back at him and nodded. "M-merry Christmas, Kyo-kun."

"Oh, Izumi-chan left you again, didn't she?" he asked, looking around. "You were headed to the living room, yes?"

I nodded again and he looked back at Satoshi. "Yitoren-san knows this place better than I do. He can show you around."

I blinked, glancing from Kyo to Satoshi. "H-he... knows this place?"

"I grew up here," Satoshi said. "Before I moved to Middle School, this was my home."

"Small world, isn't it?" Kyo laughed and began walking away. All I could do was stare at Satoshi as he walked away from the door.

"You lived here?" I repeated. I don't know why I was repeating nearly everything anyone said, but I was becoming annoyed with myself. Satoshi just shrugged and pushed his glasses up his nose.

"I did," he replied. "It was my childhood house basically. My father-" he stopped for a split second, as if a bit uncomfortable with the subject. "My father was a wealthy man and he spent a lot of his life teaching me inside these walls." He looked around, then, completely and utterly unexpectedly, took my hand. "This way."

I squeaked... again. Why must I always squeak? It makes me sound so immature! Well, anyway... he led me through the crowd of people. I couldn't really see anything except for his back and a few people's shoes. It was... strange. I mean... _for God's sake_, he was holding my hand! I felt a bit angry with myself because, not only was I letting him hold my hand, but I was... well, I was a bit nervous so I... I kind of squeezed his hand... more tightly than a normal person would...

He stopped and I found myself standing along a circle of people. Some were sitting down on comfortable-looking couches, and the others, like Satoshi and me, were standing. They were laughing about something or other, and one person, who seemed to be the victim, just shrugged and covered her eyes with her hand. I was confused.

"Ah, Risa! There you are!" Izumi waved at me from one of the couches, then stopped to stare at me. She raised an eyebrow as the rest of the group decided to stare with her. "Umm... Risa-chan? Why are you holding Yitoren's hand as if he were your last grip onto life itself?"

My mouth fell and I couldn't even look. As everyone laughed at my facial expression, I cleared my throat and bit my lip. I could hear Satoshi clear his throat, embarassed as well. My hand slowly unfolded itself from his, and I could not bring myself to look at him. Just as I thought I was really about to die, a hand closed around my shoulder. It was Kagura.

"Risa-chan!" she grinned and hugged me tightly. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Kagura-chan!" I said, hugging her back.

"Oh, yes!" Izumi shouted, becoming distracted and standing. "You're here! I've been meaning to ask you a question."

Kagura rolled her eyes at me, but took my one hand and pulled me over to the couch where Izumi sat. They hugged and we sat. As I glanced at the group from a different angle, I saw Satoshi (who was still standing, but was now across from me) shove his hands in his pockets and look around. A classmate came up to him and they began conversing. The guy, whoever he was, led him away to the punch table. I wondered why I was dissapointed to see him go.

The game continued through the party, with some people leaving, and some people joining. There were meaningful questions asked, as well as stupid questions. I wasn't paying attention the entire time, but every now and then, I would slip in a comment. I can't remember exactly where else my mind was occupied, but I knew that I was staring out a window, into the black night. For a fleeting second, when I actually was paying attention, I thought I saw a few drops of snow...

"Oi, Risa-chan!" I felt someone hit my arm and I gasped. I cursed and the circle laughed. I glared at Kagura, who was the one that had hit me. "Are you going to answer the question, or continue dreaming of a white Christmas?"

I sneered playfully at her, and sighed. "What was the question again?"

"Who exactly is this Satoshi kid?"

At that moment in time, I think it would be safe to say that I did not want to answer the question. I wasn't sure if I was able to either. I was staring at her, surprised, angered, embarassed, and reluctant... _very_ reluctant. "I told you... he's my imaginary boyfriend." The circle giggled, but Kagura would not take that as a real answer this time.

"Come on, Risa!" she whined. "You've mentioned his name _so_ many times!"

"I have not!" I protested.

"Oh please," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "You mumble it during your homework, you bring him up at least once in every conversation we have... whether it's a good thing or bad thing. Come on. Who is he?" Oh, she was going to get it for exaggerating so much...

I looked around the group, then at my hands. I was twidling my thumbs again, like I always did when I got really nervous. I stuck out the bottom of my jaw, thinking. What was I going to do? "What do you want to know?"

"Oh, the normal things," Kagura said, glad that I was cooperating. "What's he like, how do you know him, why do you keep mumbling his name, and, most importantly, is he gorgeous or not?"

I felt my face go red and I closed my eyes. Everyone pointed and commented on my flushed face. I had to smile, however as I took a deep breath and began. It wouldn't be a bad thing if I told them about the Satoshi _I_ knew, right? "Well, I knew him from Middle School. He was... quiet. He never really talked to anyone, but every now and then he made an exception. He talked to a kid named Daisuke Niwa, someone who used to be in love with me, but ended up falling for my twin sister." There was a pause in the group as they all nodded and smiled, understanding. I then smiled to myself. "I used to think he was a jerk because, although he was polite, he always looked like he dreaded talking to me. I can't really blame him though, seeing how much of a snob I was..."

There was an outburst of comments on how I could never be a snob. Izumi hugged my shoulders and Kagura shook her head, unbelieving. It finally grew quiet again, and I continued.

"I really was kind of bad... one of those girls that only cared about looks. I had wanted a good-looking boyfriend so I could rub it in my sister's face. Anyway, Satoshi came up and asked me for help on an... an 'experiment of femininity'. I said yes just to get the attention. I didn't really get it, because he was always so quiet and remote from the world. So, I was pissed off and all..."

"Was he mean to you?" Izumi asked.

I shook my head, smiling thoughtfully. "He was actually a really nice person. In retrospect... he was one of the sweetest, most gentleman-like guy I have ever met. People didn't realize it, but you just had to look at the small things." People 'awww'ed at this and I felt myself heat up even more. Why was I telling this story anyway?

"Like what?" I heard someone ask, and I thought for a moment.

"Like..." I paused. "Once, we accidentally fell down into a well, and he gave me his coat to wear." More 'awww's. "And he never lied to me, although sometimes it was a bad thing..." Yes, they all laughed at him insulting me. "Oh, and he saved my life once." Everyone's head snapped into attention when I said this.

"Saved your life?" It was as if the entire room shouted this at me and I cringed. Izumi and Kagura yelled over the outbursts and managed to calm the crowd down. They all looked at me, expecting something juicy.

"Go on," Kagura said, her voice sly. "How did he save your life?"

I took a breath. "One night... my sister dragged me along with her on this stupid, little adventure to help her find a painting that someone had stolen from her. I didn't think she was telling the truth, but she was bound and determined. She actually _jumped_ off the _side of a building_, in pursuit of her painting's captor. I was light-headed when I looked over the edge and did not see her anywhere. I must have fainted or something because the next thing I remember, I'm lying on a bench with a brown coat laying overtop of me. Daisuke was obviously there, and he told me that he saw Satoshi save me.

"I never really got to thank him because there was always a doubt that it wasn't true. I wish I had, but... well, even after that, he still spoke to me. He seemed to act like he had never saved my life, and I guess, in a way, I was happy for that. He was a true, honest friend, and I had never had one of those before. Well, with the exception of my girlfriends and Daisuke. But then..." I had to take a painful sigh for dramatic effect. "He left. About a few months later. I never knew why because he left so suddenly, and... I found myself wishing that he hadn't gone. Not only because nasty rumors were going around, but I just... I just wanted to make amends for the way I acted. I had never had regrets before I met him, but... I guess he changed me. Not in a bad way, mind you. I changed from an immature snob, to a well-matured, young woman. And for that, I will always remain thankful to him."

I stopped and looked around the group, that had grown absolutely silent. All I could do was shrug and look at the floor. Another minute of silence, with a few whispers. Then, a burst of claps and whistles errupted from the crowd. Izumi squealed and hit my arm playfully. Kagura shook her head, her grin widening so much that I thought the tips touched her ears. The conversation soon carried on to other things, but I did not pay attention... at all. I was thinking about what I had said... if I had really meant it... if there were some, oh, I don't know... emotions inside of me that I wasn't aware of...

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up, kind of hurting my neck in the process. I saw Satoshi himself looking down at me with an odd expression. His mouth opened and closed, but I could not hear him because of the noise level. For a second or two, I questioned if he had heard the story. I yelled, and he rolled his eyes. He leaned down, allowing me to relax my neck, and talked into my ear. For some reason, his hot breath against my ear made me shudder.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I nodded quickly. "Why ask?"

He shrugged. "Well, for the past 45 minutes, you have looked like your cat had just died." I looked at him, and he just looked back at me.

_Whoa, I can see the colors of his eyes blending together_, I thought to myself. I felt my breath catch in my throat, and I shook my head quickly.

"I-I'm fine," I said, trying to sound sure of myself. He didn't believe me. I could see it in his face. Still, because of the fact that it was late, and we were due to clean up soon, he let it go with a shrug.

I don't think I've ever been so happy to clean in my entire life.

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**A/N:** Double feature coming up. _Love_ the reviews coming! Hope y'all will review this one and the next!


	11. A Merry, kind of odd, Little Christmas

**A/N:** HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! Hope you guys like this chapter!

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Chapter 11

I've never seen so much trash in my life. Honestly. College parties are absolutely horrifying! If nothing happens during the party, then you know that there's definitely something waiting for you in the bathroom. It's just disgusting. The Losers, Satoshi, and I must've spent at least three hours cleaning up. I remember looking at the clock after we were finished with the bathroom (hurl, gag) and pretty much passing out. I don't remember anything else. Not even walking over to my designated area in the living room to sleep.

I remember the smell of the house though. How awful it smelled with all the bleach and the cleaners and the... well, god knows what else we had missed. I really don't know why Kyo has these parties. Anyway... I'm pretty sure that we were all getting high off of the fumes that night. That might explain why we slept in until two or three Christmas afternoon. Well, I smelled that when I went to bed, and when I awoke, the most wonderful feeling filled my lungs. It smelled... well, like Christmas. At first, I could smell cookies, then I noticed other things. Eggs, waffles, and a variety of other breakfast items. I don't know how to explain it. I just woke up and I was... home.

I lifted my head from my pillow and yawned. My neck was stiff so I rolled onto my stomach and stretched. I sat up, rubbed my eyes, and looked around. Izumi, Kagura, and two other girls were still asleep nearby. I found it strange when I saw the men's sleeping bags empty...

"Morning, Risa-chan," Izumi mumbled, her eyes still closed. "If that is you anyway."

"It is." I sighed, relaxing and not really wanting to stand. "Are you going to get up?"

Izumi moaned and rolled to her stomach as well. With a heaving sigh, she pushed herself up and stood. She wobbled a bit, then smiled at me. I took the hand she offered and she helped me up. Then we weren't really sure of what to do. I was still looking around for the guys, and Izumi had just noticed that they were gone. She gave a strange, unbelieving look towards the kitchen, then began walking away. I quickly followed her, just as curious.

We let both our mouths hang open when we saw the sight. Satoshi, Kyo, and five other guys were crowded around the kitchen area, creating some kind of... super cooking machine. Two people were making waffles and pancakes, one person was making eggs (that really buff guy that Kagura said was sexy, I think...), two other people were doing the small things (like mixing more batter when needed, setting the table, cleaning up messes, etc.), and Satoshi was instructing Kyo on how to make French Toast.

"Holy mother of god," Izumi whispered to herself.

"Can these guys cook?" I asked, glancing at her. Izumi could only shrug and shake her head.

"I didn't think they could..."

"Ah! Good morning, Izumi!" Kyo said once he saw us. He hurried away from his cooking duties and embraced my friend. I stepped away, and stood alone, unsure of what to do. I saw Satoshi roll his eyes, then return to watching the task at hand. I had nothing better to do so I decided to go over.

"Good morning, Hi- I mean... Yitoren-san!" I said cheerfully. "What are you doing?"

Satoshi glanced at me, then shrugged, flipping a piece of bread. "Cooking." I could tell that he didn't really want to talk, and I couldn't really do anything about that. But that had never stopped me before, had it?

"Sleep well last night?" I asked, trying to start up a conversation.

Again, Satoshi shrugged. "If you're not helping, you might want to leave the kitchen. It's a little crowded..."

"So I'll help," I volunteered. "What can I do?"

Satoshi's head slowly turned towards me, confused. "Can you even cook, Harada-san?"

I paused at this, a little embarassed. "It's Risa. And, well... not really... I kind of failed my culinary arts class..." This didn't surprise him. He nodded, like he knew, and looked back at the frying pan. "But you could help me. Ever think of that?"

Satoshi flipped the second piece of bread, took the one he had flipped before, and put it on a dinner plate that was laying nearby. He then took a new piece of bread, dipped that into some kind of mixture, and placed it carefully on the frying pan. _THEN_ he faced me. "Don't I already help you enough with your math homework?"

That was rude. Well... at least from my stand point it was. I kind of just stared at him, not really knowing what to do... again. It took me more than several seconds before I noticed that look in his eyes. I had seen it before... last night, as a matter of fact. And when he laughed at me when we had first arrived at the party. It didn't come up much at school, but every now and then I'd see it. It was... amusement. He was actually showing some happiness. I found it somewhat strange that there would be such an emotion as amusement in those eyes that used to stare at me and make me feel... well, for lack of better words, stupid. I blinked and waited for him to say something. _I_ certainly couldn't. He merely twitched his head, beckoning me to come and watch over his shoulder.

"It's not hard," he explained. "Take two eggs and some milk and mix them together in a flat pan. Dip both sides of the bread in it, put the bread on the frying pan, and let it cook for about two and a half minutes. Then flip." He flipped the done piece of toast and set it on top of the one he had finished before and looked at me. "Go ahead."

I just stood there for a moment, then I moved. The mix that I had to dip the bread in was a little gross, and I was sure that Satoshi was having a grand time watching me struggle with the hardship. I actually managed to cook one piece of bread, but I had burnt it... badly. The other boys chuckled at my clumsiness and I could just twidle my thumbs, embarassed. I felt an elbow nudge my arm and I looked up from my hands. Satsohi gave me a small smile and winked.

"You'll get it," he said, doing his own ever-so-excellent job as French toast cooker.

I swear to god, he said that. I know I've exaggerated some things that he's done before, but... not this. He _actually_ smiled. He _actually_ winked. He _actually_ encouraged me. Who was this kid and what did he do with Satoshi!

Or... then again... he may not have been Satoshi...

We all sat down for breakfast about twenty minutes later, wishing each other a merry Christmas day. It's amazing how big Kyo's house is. It's just... a mansion! I was so awed-! Anyway... after breakfast, we gathered around the Christmas tree and gave each other presents. I was grateful to Izumi for giving me a necklace and Kagura giving me a box of chocolates. Kyo had just given me a hideous bracelet that I would never wear, but we both knew that it was the thought that counted. As my friends were openeing their gifts and the others theirs, I saw Satoshi sitting on the arm of the couch, far away from the tree.

"Oh, Risa-chan! Thank you!" Izumi hugged me once she saw that I had gotten her some earrings. Kagura did the same thing when she saw that I had gotten her a new book to stuff her face in. I think everyone nearly puked when we saw that Kyo had bought a customized ornament for Izumi. One snowman with his name on it, one snow-woman with her name on it, hugging each other. Kagura made quiet gagging sounds in my ear when they hugged and... well, kind of made-out...

"Oi! Yitoren-san!" Kagura called, using him as a distraction. Satoshi looked up from his cup of hot chocolate. "Aren't you going to check for your presents?"

Satoshi didn't say anything. Just shook his head and took a sip of his drink. I felt bad for him, mostly because nobody else in the room had thought of buying him a gift. He didn't seem to mind, however, as we sat in a circle and talked about Christmas memories for a while. It must have been around five or six when we were all done. The girls had to wash up as well as the boys, and we bid each other good-byes. Of course, we would all see each other the next day or sometime during break, but still...

I waited for Kagura because she was my ride home (we decided to save gas), and saw her talking to that buff guy. She then came running up to me. "Hey, this guy just asked me if I could eat dinner with him! Isn't that great!" She then stopped. "We need to use my car though. He lives down the street and walked here."

It didn't seem too long ago that we had brunch, and I didn't really have a ride back to the dorm, but sure. Just leave me to die then. "Uhh... ok. That's fine... I just need to know how I'm getting back to school."

"I'll drive you, Harada-san," Satoshi said, suddenly appearing behind Kagura.

"It's Risa," I said not thinking. "And you don't have to..."

"It's nothing, really," he said, putting on his heavy coat. Kagura was more than happy to accept this offer. She squealed, thanked him maybe ten thousand times, then ran off, talking and swooning at the buff kid. I stared after her.

"Well," I murmured to myself. "I have caring friends."

"Yes, you do." I looked up at him, standing across of the doorway from me. He wasn't kidding. He was serious. Just then, I felt my knees go weak and I had to lean back against the door frame for support. Stupid intense, blue eyes...

I looked away and mumbled, "Thanks." As I stuffed my hands in my pockets, my hand hit a small object. I grasped it and took it out. It was the Christmas present that I was supposed to give him, but had completely forgotten about. I bit my lower lip, feeling the heat rise. "Hey, Hi- I mean... Yitoren-san... did you get any Christmas presents?"

Satoshi's eyes squinted, as if he was glaring at his hands as he put his gloves on. "No." My heart sank. "I have no need for them anyway."

"Oh," was all I said. "Well... do you want one?"

He looked up at me, curious. "Why ask?"

I shrugged, scraping my foot against the floor. "I just figured you wanted this." I couldn't even look at him as I held out the gift. When he didn't do anything, then I looked. He was just staring. It made me feel awkward so instead of simply holding out my hand forever and ever, I shoved it into his and walked towards his car. I hoped that he liked Beethoven as much as he liked Mozart. He would always listen to him (Mozart) whenever we were driving somewhere.

About ten minutes after I had climbed into the car, Satoshi did. _Finally_. Neither of us really knew what to say or do. So we sat there... in silence... for about another ten minutes. Then he spoke.

"Why did you buy me this CD?" he asked, holding the Beethoven CD in his hands.

I took a deep breath. "B-because... you never really seem to enjoy the holidays and I felt bad because I had bought all of my friends something, but I didn't buy you anything, and I thought that I should because you help me out with math so much, and it was like you never were given any presents so I thought that you might want one so I bought it for you..." I stopped, noticing how much I was rambling. Sure enough, my thumbs began to twidle. I could feel him staring at me.

"Alright." With this, he started the car and we pulled out of the driveway.

"You're welcome," I mumbled. He glanced at me, but soon turned his attention back to the road. I really had no idea what to do whatsoever. I felt so clueless these days. Well, anyway. To make a long story short, Satoshi drove me home and, just before I climbed out of the car, I wished him a merry Christmas. Then I kind of... ran up to my room.

Ok, ok. I sprinted.

When I reached my dorm room, I took a shower, packed some things in a suitcase, and bought my airplane ticket online. Did I mention that I'm going home to visit Mom and Dad over the holidays? Riku and Daisuke are coming too. I'm really excited for it! Especially because I need to get away from everything for now...

I get angry at myself for thinking so much about him. I mean... it's bad enough that I'm working with him in Child Care and Education, AND he's helping me with my math homework, AND everyone's telling me about how much I've 'changed' him... whatever that means. It's getting annoying really... and I don't really know how to respond to it all... and...

I just need a brake.

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**A/N:** In the next chapter... everything becomes... _serious_. (pause) I thought this was a humor story... (shrugs) oh well. I guess you need to have a little bit of seriousness somewhere along the line. Chapter 12 is a perfect setting too. Risa sees Riku and Daisuke, they talk about school and such, then Risa asks if they've heard any news about- (stops) I really shouldn't have said that...


	12. Of Family Reunions and Tears

**A/N:** HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ALL! And thanks soooooooooooooooooo much for the awesome, kind, intelligent (well most. haha, i kid.) reviews. I really appreciate them A LOT! Enjoy this next chapter!

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Chapter 12

"RISA!" Riku was the first to greet me once I had arrived at my old home. She bounded down the hallway, threw open the door, and pulled me into a warm embrace. I hugged her back just as tightly, inhaling her scent. I hadn't noticed how much I had missed her. When we finally withdrew from each other, Riku was beaming. "I'm so glad you could come!"

"She's been talking about it nonstop," Daisuke said, suddenly appearing behind her and wrapping his arms around hers. "It's annoying really." I was amazed at how much he had grown. He was even taller now, and his hair was still red and in spikes. What surprised me was how deep his voice had gotten.

Riku blushed and hit Daisuke's chest playfully. "I did not..."

Daisuke laughed, let go of her for a minute to hug me, then returned to wrapping his arms around my sister. "Good to see you again, Risa-chan."

I smiled at him. "You too, Niwa-kun." I heard my name being called a second time, and had to prepare myself for the sufocation of my parents. Maybe after twenty minutes of that, they were dragging us all into the living room, talking about how we had to discuss things.

"They went through the same thing with me," Riku murmured in my ear just before we sat down on the couch.

"How have you been?" Mom asked. "We've barely recieved any letters."

"Yes, tell us how Tokyo University is!" Daisuke added.

"It's... hard," I said with a laugh. "I've been really busy with homework. I like my classes well enough, it's just the work that bugs me. I don't know what I would do without help from Hi-" I stopped myself and cleared my throat. I had almost let it slip out again! If I kept this up, Satoshi would leave.

Not like I didn't want him gone or anything. Well, it would be a shame to see him leave... _again_. Especially because he's been such a great help in math, but... wait... what the hell am I saying? He might not even _be_ Satoshi for all I know...

"Help from who now?" Riku said, picking her head up.

"Y-Yitoren-san," I stammered. "He's... a classmate of mine."

The day wore on with us laughing about memories and school. Daisuke and Riku were obviously having the time of their life at their college. Mom and Dad missed us, but they were still busy with work, as usual. I told everyone about my friends, about Sensei Smith and Sensei Arisa. Riku and Daisuke did the same with their friends as well. Then I had to tell them about my scar on my head. Yeah, my parents _loved_ that. At one point, Mom and Dad left to go make dinner. Or... tell the cook to make dinner.

I battled with myself on whether or not I should tell Riku and Daisuke about Satoshi. I had to tell someone and... well, who else would be better than my own twin?

"Hey guys," I said a little more quietly. They looked at me. "Have... have you heard any word from Satoshi?"

"Hiwatari?" Daisuke clarified. I nodded and the two of them thought for a second. Riku shook her head, and Daisuke did the same. "I haven't seen him since Da-" Just then, Riku punched Daisuke in the stomach and he stopped. I giggled as he doubled over, clutching his stomach, and tried to remain serious.

"We haven't seen him since Middle School," Riku continued. "I heard that he moved to the States."

"I thought he had too," I said. "But... why?"

"Well, why ask?" Daisuke sounded like he was in pain.

I bit my lip, thinking about how to tell them about it. I didn't really think hard enough because the next thing I knew, I was telling them everything. How I saw him the first day of school, how he pretended like he didn't know me, how we got stuck in the same elective class (to which Riku laughed her stupid, little head off at), how he was being wierd at the Nurse's Office, how he helped me with my math, and, finally, about what had happened at the Christmas party. They listened to every word (except when Riku was laughing at me... stupid Riku...).

"Well... are you sure it's Satoshi?" Daisuke finally asked. I nodded.

I nodded. "I'm sure of it. Or... I used to be. I mean... he looks exactly like him!" I paused, feeling my stomach do some stupid vibrating thing as I thought about it. "His personality is just... a little different."

"Meaning he's nice?" Riku asked, surprised.

"Well..." I sighed. "Kind of, yeah. He's still very polite, but lately I've had old classmates of his come up to me and say that I've 'changed' him. Whatever the hell that means..."

"Maybe he's got a fake ID," Daisuke suggested. "I mean... he changed his name, right? Perhaps he had to had to act like a different person for... safety reasons."

"But why!" I asked. "That's stupid! Satoshi was never in any danger! He might have been incredibly lonely or something, but it's not like he was in mortal peril." The looks I recieved from my sister and Daisuke deeply unnerved me. I twidled my thumbs and my voice became quieter. "I mean... was he?"

Daisuke and Riku had this... 'conversation' with their facial expressions. I waited for at least five more minutes until they came upon a desicion and faced me. I must have looked as scared as I felt because Riku put a hand to my shoulder. With a sad smile, she took a deep breath and said:

"Risa... I think there's something we need to tell you."

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Just if my life couldn't have gotten any more screwed up, it did. I'm not just talking about what Riku and Daisuke told me. After that whole mess, I had to go on a 'walk'. Yeah. If taking a walk meant sprinting as fast as I could to my old Thinking Spot. You had to go all the way up to the windmills, take a hidden path, walk through a little bit of woods, then end up at a beach. I would go there all the time in my younger years. It calmed my nerves. 

I felt the magic of the place come back to me as I breathed in deep, smelling the fresh air. When I closed my eyes, however, I did not expect to feel wetness. I blinked a few times and put my hand up to my eyes. I withdrew and saw drops of tears on my fingers. I gasped and then noticed how stuffy my nose was. I was crying. Why the _hell_ was I crying? And for how long!

As confused as I was, the only thing I could do _was_ cry. I hugged myself and let the ocean water soak my feet. And I cried. I don't know why, but I did. Perhaps I was taking out my own frustration, crying about my schoolwork and my stupid feelings. Perhpas it was for Daisuke and Riku, now that I knew what they had to go through. Perhaps it was for my long lost love that didn't really love me at all. Or perhaps it was for him... and how he suffered... and how badly I had treated him... and how mean I had been to him... and how much he hid (himself and his problems) from the world...

And the worst part of it was, the rumors were true. Every single one of them. The ones about his job and how he chased after Dark. The ones about him and his father. The ones about his pain... and to add to that, I found out that it wasn't just his father abusing him! He had an inner deamon for god's sake! What if, those few weeks before Christmas, when he was always in pain, he had been dealing with Krad? Was that why he looked so hurt?

I shook my head, not wanting to think about it. My hands covered my eyes, not wanting anyone... or any_thing_ to see me like this. I cursed when the tears continued to flow. I don't know how long I stayed there, but it must have been a while because when I looked back up at the ocean, tears STILL there, the sun was setting. I jumped and nearly screamed when I heard the movement of feet on sand.

"Risa?"

I felt shocked, confused, and guilty when I saw who it was. However, the guilt overthrew all of the other emotions and I could feel my heart ache. He was staring at me, a brand new emotion in his eyes, which I had never seen before. I felt my knees begin to give way, but I ignored it.

"I'm sorry," I managed to sputter, my voice cracking. Why was a such a drama queen? I wished I was more like my sister. She would have never made a disgrace of herself like this. "For everything..."

"Are you _crying_?" he asked, shocked himself. In two seconds flat, he was right in front of me. Damn him for being so tall... "Are... are you actually crying?"

Once again, I covered my face with my hands and shook my head. "I'm so sorry..." The rest was all a blur. I remember feeling arms wrapping around my trembling body, my name being called, and the feeling of an overall shocked atmosphere. Then I blanked out. Entirely.

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**A/N:** Betcha can't guess who it is! Well, anyway. I can't say too much about the next chapter, other than reasons are revealed and... well, yeah, that's about all I can say. 


	13. Who Are You?

Chapter 13

"Is she going to be ok?"

"I think so."

"You _think_ so?"

"Well... she's the one that's becoming a doctor..."

"Mom, calm down. We've got it under control."

"Under control? Under _control_! Look at her! She has a scar now!"

"That was from before, Dad. When she fell in the cafeteria at Tokyo U. Remember? She told us."

"Oh... well..."

"I think you two should step outside. Please?"

It was when the front door slammed a few moments later that I finally came back to life. I didn't want to open my eyes because... I was afraid of what I would see. Plus, the thought of falling back to sleep was comforting. But, nontheless, I stirred, moving my hand to shield my eyes from the light that was about to come. I heard Riku gasp, and whispers floated around in the air. I groaned, reluctantly opening my eyes and squinted at the fuzzy figures in front of me. I could see Daisuke easily. He was pretty noticable with the hair and all. Riku's body took a little longer to solidify, and there was one more person. I thought it was Mom or Dad, but those eyes... they did _not_ belong to anyone I knew. With the exception of one person.

"Satoshi?" I could not help but blurt this out a little too loudly. My head was filled with nothing and the immediate action of sitting up kind of caused me to sway. I had to close my eyes again and grab hold of something to steady me. I thought it was Riku's arm, but when my eyes reopened, I saw that it was not. I recoiled on instinct and stared at... _him_.

He looked at me, as if pained by my actions... but it was more than that. It was like he was ashamed. Whether it was me or him causing that feeling, I didn't know. Yet I had a terrible feeling that he was ashamed of _himself_.

"Who are you?" This was the first thing that I demanded to know. Not 'what happened' or 'what are you doing here'. It was 'who are you'. As soon as I said it, I felt like passing out again. Everyone was looking at me with this... expression. I don't know what it was, but I didn't like it. But I must've had an impact on him because he glanced at Daisuke and Riku, as if reassuring his next action, then sighed and sat down by my feet. He took off his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose, and tightly shut his eyes. It looked like he was preparing himself for something.

"You _do_ know me from Middle School," he said quietly. I stared. "Thanks to your sister and Daisuke, you know pretty much everything about my past, and why I left, and what my life used to be like."

"Satoshi?" I didn't really need to ask that question, but I guess I just wanted clarification. "Satoshi Hiwatari?"

"Hikari," he corrected, opening his eyes with a little bit of hope. "It's Satoshi _Hikari_. I was adopted, remember?"

Yeah, I remembered. He was adopted by his stepdad, that abused him, and was pretty much forced to succeed. "Y-yes..." It was then that the lightbulb finally went on. The anger rose rather quickly and I glared, my mouth falling open. "Y-you... you lied to me!" Before I could think, I punched his arm and moved my legs so I could get closer. He grimaced in pain. "You pretended like you didn't even know me! And you lied to me! And you were mean! And ignorant! And... you _lied_ to me!" I swatted him over the head and he cringed. My mouth opened and closed, wanting to shout horrible things, but nothing came out. I was simply appalled.

"I know..." was Satoshi's pitiful reply.

"Yeah, I _know_ you know!" I hit him again and let out a squeal/scream/grunt of exasperation. I crossed my arms, postitioned myself so I was sitting as he was (legs off of the couch, spine to the back of the couch), and glared at the vent across the room. I was shaking with anger, mumbling things about Satoshi and his overflowing ability to be hated with every fiber of my being... I could tell that Daisuke and my sister were staring at us, probably feeling the most awkward they have ever felt in their lives, but they said nothing. A few seconds later, Riku mumbled something about tea and ran off into the kitchen, dragging her boyfriend with her.

That left us in pure...

inevitable...

dead...

silence.

"I'm sorry," Satoshi finally said.

"Yeah, right," I mumbled under my breath. I may have been harsh, but... when I'm angry, I say things I don't mean. I then whirled on him. "Why the hell did you _lie_ to me in the first place!"

"I left Azumo Middle School because Krad was getting out of hand," Satoshi explained. "I did move to the States so no one would know me, but my father ordered me back. To ensure the safety of myself and my past, I changed my name. I continued my studies at a school far from Azumo, and was accepted in Tokyo U."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I snapped.

"Don't you get it?" he said, becoming a bit desperate. "Krad was awakened by nearly any emotion I felt. I _had_ to keep myself distant. I _had_ to ignore everyone around me. If I didn't, he would come back and hurt more and more people. He destroyed lives, Risa. Both mine and the others around me."

This managed to keep me quiet. I waited for him to continue, and was partially glad when he did.

"He _is_ gone now," Satoshi said slowly. "I reunited with Daisuke's father in secret, and he helped me exorcise Krad. That's why I was in so much pain those past weeks before Christmas. I came back here for the break simply because I wanted to thank him." He then read my mind with god-like powers that kind of disturbed me. "And I just don't like Christmas because I never celebrated it before. My father was always too busy with work to enjoy the holidays, and, since he couldn't enjoy them, neither could I."

I couldn't say anything.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "Truly, I am. More so than I ever have been. I never meant to hurt you. It's just... I was afraid. Like I said, Krad awoke to almost any emotion I felt. When I saw you at the university, I tried to stay away, for your sake. Then you..." He sighed. "You kind of... didn't stop... pestering me..." He paused to give me a small smile, which I did not return. He saw this and his smile vanished. More awkward silence filled the room, and he continued to look at me. I didn't dare move an inch.

"I'm leaving," he said a good amount of time later. "Not just this house. I'm leaving for the States. After midterms, I'll be at the airport. I'm hoping to find... a better life somewhere else. Some place where no one, _no one_, knows me... so I won't hurt anyone..."

That shocked me. Why the hell couldn't I speak? _Talk, damnit!_

I felt his hand close around my wrist and he pulled me to my feet. I continued to stare at the floor, avoiding his gaze. Once again, we were silent, with his one hand holding mine, and the other placed on my shoulder. I felt so stupid... Then I felt his hand move from my shoulder to my chin. I shivered the tiniest bit and he moved my head. I faced him.

Good Lord, he was close. I could smell his aftershave, feel the heat coming from his face, stare so deep into those pupils I could drown...

"I'm sorry," he said for the... what, fifth time? "I'm so, _so_ sorry." He moved.

The same security that I had felt just before I had passed out swept over me again. His head gently stayed againt mine, and I numbly pressed my face into his shirt. I closed my eyes and breathed. I could feel his breath on my hair, his arm across my shoulder, the cloth of his shirth between my fingers, his other arm around my waist, the one hand stroking my hair. And we stood like that, in this tight... strangely meaningful embrace. It felt so...

Nice.

We eventually drew apart from each other and... well... I could only stare at him and vice versa. His hand brushed my cheek and he smiled sadly.

"I will miss you... Risa."

Then he was gone. He just turned and left. Just like that. No good-bye, no dramatic speech, no... kiss. Not like that's what I wanted, but usually that's what happened. The guy kisses the girl as his one last good-bye, or... something cheesy like that. He doesn't just _leave_ her right in the middle of everything!

And I didn't even say anything! It was like all I could do was remain silent! While he hugged me, I was silent. While he stared at me, I was silent. When he... touched me like that, I was silent. When he left... I was silent. When Riku and Daisuke came back, asking where he had gone, I was silent. When I walked away to my room, shut and locked the door, I was silent.

And when I cried myself to sleep... I was silent.


	14. What Can Happen in an Airport

Chapter 14

_"I will mis you... Risa."_

Was it just me, or was I thinking about him every waking second of every living day in every god damn class? I was. I knew I was. Even the stuff before Christmas break was bugging me. Like the study sessions or that one day in the Nurse's Office. I was thinking about him, and what he had said, and what he had done, and what he had smelled like... Yes,what he smelled like! It's 80 percent of our memory, smelling is, so... anyway.

Izumi and Kagura kept asking over and over again if I was ok. I would just shrug or nod or shake my head. They figured out in a few days that I wasn't talking to Satoshi and he wasn't talking to me. I thought Izumi would kill him. Literally. She had this bonfire in her eyes and her nostrils flared and even Kyo couldn't calm her down.

"Good God, Izumi-chan, please!" I finally said after she was raving about him for... well, the hundreth time that day. "Don't hurt him. I'm just... nervous for midterms." Which was true, but not entirely true.

Time went by, and the days grew longer. But Friday soon came. All midterms were finished. That night, he would be gone from my life... forever. At the very end of August, when school had started, I was thrilled with this idea. Now... I'm not so sure. I kept telling myself over and over again that I didn't need him there. Then there would be this voice... way deep inside me... and it would tell me that I did. I did need him. It haunted me in my dreams and it came to me during classes.

And it sure as hell screwed up my focus on my midterms. Well, before I took them anyway.

I needed help. Not just any help. Real help. Like... with someone that could relate to me. Someone... that knew things that I didn't.

* * *

"What exactly happened the day I passed out in the lunch room?" I asked. 

I sat in the Nurse's Office, of course visiting Sensei Arisa. She was a good, trusted adult that related more to me than any mother ever could. She understood things that I didn't, and it seemed to me that, if I were to confess my problems to her, everything would be ok. The situation I was in called for more than just talking to my friends. I needed to talk to her.

Sensei Arisa nearly dropped the bottle of asprin in her hands. She fumbled with it, then set it down forcefully on the counter and stared at me. For once, _I_ had caught _her_ off guard.

"Yitoren-san hasn't told you yet?" she asked me. I shook my head, frowning a bit from the thought of him. "And you really want to know?"

My stomach did a few turns as I thought about the concept. I finally nodded and so did she. Sensei Arisa took a deep breath, jumped up to sit on the counter, then looked at the ceiling, thinking. I sat exact opposite of her and waited for her response.

"Well..." she began. "As far as I know, Yitoren-san was burnt from his little heroic accident... he said that he was trying to find the Nurse's Office, but ended up in the lunch room instead. From there, he found you, then called us on his cell, which really wasn't allowed in school, but anyway..." She took a few more seconds to think. "We found him hunched over you, practically craddling your body in his arms. I believe his jacket was wrapped around your head to stop the bleeding.

"Well, we had only one wheelchair, but he insisted that you were the one to be put in it. I wasn't about to fight with two injured students in front of me, so I did just that. I thought he would stay put in the lunch room until we came with another chair, but he didn't. He limped and hobbled and hopped right along side of us as we rushed you down here. You were put into the 'operating' room and he was put somewhere else. He threw a _fit_ though. Mumbling and scoffing about it all."

She puffed out her chest and deepended her voice, as if mocking him. "As soon as I get this stupid ankle bandaged up, I'd better be allowed in there. I need to see if she's ok. I need to see is she's hurt."

She giggled to herself, then stopped and sighed, a thoughtful expression coming over her face. "Of course we didn't allow him in the operating room at first, but... he just wouldn't give up. I swear, Harada-san, he was a _stubborn_ boy! We finally becamce fed up with it all and let him inside the damned operating room. I've never seen him look so relieved before..." She then shook herself. "Anyway...

"He marched inside, limp and all, and grabbed your hand. He squeezed it, and looked a bit pained for a second, then relaxed and began talking. Talking about how everything was going to be ok; how he was there and that nothing was wrong. Said things I used to _dream_ of a boy saying to me... he was stroking you hand with his thumb, continuing to talk. We ended the work on you, then moved you to your room. He stayed there for the next two and a half hours. Just talking...

"I overheard him saying a few things that didn't make sense. He was like, 'I remember that one time, when you helped me with my feminine studies...'." She laughed, and I smiled sadly, remembering that time in the well when I had been foolishly chasing my 'love'. He had given me his jacket then too...

"Did he really talk to me for two and a half hours?" I asked, feeling guilty and giddy at the same time.

Sensei Arisa nodded. "Sure did. Well... every now and then, I'd glance in on you two and just see him staring at you... stroking your hand. I tell you, I've never seen anything like it, Harada-san."

There was a moment when I was just staring at my hands, gently touching where his hand might have been. Then she spoke again.

"And then he just turns around and acts like he doesn't even know you!" she slipped down from the counter and shook her head. "I'm telling you, I could have smacked him right then and there... Such a nice thing you two had and he ruined it all! If I were his mother..."

I sat in my seat for a long time. Sensei Arisa kept rambling on and on about something or other... but I sat. I could barely think with all the information she had given me. The only thought that was running through my mind was:

_You're an idiot._

It was still ringing in my ears as I stood and dashed from the room, Sensei Arisa yelling after me. I can remember running to my car, clumsily fingering the keys, driving to the airport (with a terrible road-rage attitude) and standing. Right there. Right at the fron doors. And it was still ringing:

_You're an idiot._

"Jesus..." I breathed in deep and looked around. Probably waking up for the first time, I cursed and walked through the large, spinning glass doors. It was then that I noticed that I had no clue of where he could be. I chose a random gate number and headed that way.

Where would the gate for the States be? I asked myself, looking around like mad. I stopped and listened closely when the ladie's voice came over the speakers.

"All passengers for flight 191, United States, please head towards gate 25. All passengers-"

I stopped listening when I noticed that I was at gate 52. I swore again and ran. No... I sprinted. I don't think I've done that in public. I mean... it was always unlady-like to dash after a guy. Especially in public. What would Riku say if she knew? Oh, she'd probably just laugh her head off... again. I swear, one day, I'll be the one laughing at her-

Gate 40

I sort of had a head-on collision with this one rather large guy. We both fell on our butts, and I rubbed my head. He glared at me, and I jumped right back up.

"Hey!" he shouted after me and I ran.

"Sorry-I-can't-talk-I-gotta-catch-this-guy-right-now-or-I'll-regret-it-for-the-rest-of-my-life!" I called over my shoulder, speaking at record speed and slurring my words together. I had to dodge about... 50 other people that were boarding a different flight, and run down the escalators. I'm positive that I had pissed more than a few people off, but at the moment, I didn't care. Not one bit. All I could think about was him, and him leaving, and me never seeing him again, and him meeting another girl...

"Last call for flight 191, United States..."

Whoa, where had that last thought come from? If I didn't want Satoshi with another girl, and I didn't want him being alone... what did that add up to? Disliking other girls plus disliking him being alone equaled... T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Or L-O-V-E.

Gate 30

_Just a few more_, I thought. _Please, Satoshi, don't leave..._

Wait... L-O-V-E. That spelled love... Dear God, love? I was in love? Since when? And _how_!

I stopped exactly at Gate 25 and tried to catch my breath. My vision was a bit... off, but I was still looking. I saw the line of people waiting to board the plane. I think I chocked when I didn't see him. I ran over to the line and right up to the lady. I smiled the best I could, trying not to act like I had just run a marathon.

"Excuse me," I said politely. "I was looking for-"

"Are you getting on board?" she asked, not really wanting to deal with me.

"N-no," I stammered. "B-but I was wondering if you had seen this one guy..."

"I see over a million of them every day," she replied, taking another ticked, ripping it, and giving it back to the passenger.

"Yes, but this one's different," I said. "He's tall, and has glasses, and blue eyes... and his hair is a bit abnormal..."

"You mean him?" she asked, poitning to behind me.

I whirled around and felt... overjoyed, relieved, giddy, successful, jubilant... a lot of words described what I was feeling. I turned, said a quick 'thanks' to the woman, and walked briskly over to the last person that was standing in line. His eyes never left my body. I grabbed his arm, pulled him over to the side...

And then I really didn't know what the heck to do with myself.

"What is it?" Satoshi asked, glancing from the line back to me, then noticing my condition. "You look-"

"Like I just finished a marathon," I cut him off, still trying to catch my breath. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Well, what is it?" he asked again.

"U-umm..." I stammered, caughing a bit. "I don't know. I... I haven't gotten that far in the planning process yet."

Satoshi stayed for a moment, then rolled his eyes and turned to leave. "I must-"

Again, I grabbed his arm. This time, I didn't let go. "D-don't... act... like you did... when school began. We need... to talk."

"About what?" he asked, eyeing the line that now consisted of two people. "I really need to go..."

"What if," I began, thinking fast. "I knew someone that didn't want you to go?"

"It wouldn't make a difference," he replied, pushing his glassed up his nose, causing my hand to fall from his arm. "I have-"

"What if," I interrupted, getting desperate. "_I_ didn't want you to go." He looked questioningly at me and I began to panic. "I mean... I know that I thought that I wanted you to disapear from my life completely when this whole thing began... b-but... I mean... sometimes, I think that first impressions can be wrong, and thoughts can change, and... I think that my feelings have changed from what you thought they were, and what you probably still think they are, but they really aren't because I think I changed them and I think that I don't think about you the way I used to think about you and I think that I think about you the opposite of what I used to think about you and what you probably currently think I think about you..."

I honestly don't know if I have ever rambled so much in my life. Satoshi looked like he had no idea what I had just said. Hell, I didn't even know what I had just said! I could only stare at past him, to embarassed to actually look him in the eye.

"Risa," Satoshi said after a long moment of stupidity silence. "Is there something you want to tell me?" It was then or never... and I had to look... so I looked. God, he had intense eyes.

"I don't think that you should leave." There! I finally said it!... Why did it seem like I had wanted to say that for a lifetime instead of maybe a day or two? "I think that you should stay here... in Tokyo U."

Satoshi was scruitinizing me, not entirely believing me either. "Why?"

What the hell was with all the questions? I swear he just _had_ to know everything! I then paused and took a breath, not entirely ready to plunge into this pile of insanity. "Iwantyoutostayherewithme!"

That got him. "What?"

I tried steadying myself, and kind of failed, but the fact that he was still there encouraged me. "I... want you... to stay here... with me."


	15. Epilogue

**A/N:** I wonder how mad you guys got when I didn't end the story right there. Lol. Well, don't worry. This is the last chapter. Hope you enjoyed it and I hope you review it! Thanks SO much for all your reviews thus far and, if I hadn't responded to everwhite's questions, thanks so much! I'd love this to be in the contest, if it isn't already.

* * *

Epilogue 

His face, I recall, had gone completely blank.

Then he had tossed his suitcase to the ground, taken me in his arms, and kissed me. I completely melted. If it weren't for him holding me, I would have fainted. I always knew how much my knees buckled whenever he would simply look at me... but just the feel it all... it was something I had never experienced. Dark had somewhat of the same effect, but... this was different, in a much, much better kind of way.

We pulled apart for a moment, trying to decipher the meaning of Satoshi's bold move. I tried to stop my heart from beating so furiously, lest it would suddenly fail me. It was no good. Another look into those eyes and I lost it all over again. I could see him smile (yes, he actually smiled!) before he leaned in again. I reacted by slipping my arms around his neck. The last thing I can remember thinking before I totally gave into his embrace was:

_I suppose in heaven, the men are bolder than I am..._

(divider)

Nobody really expected this, or thought that it would last, but here we are. An official couple of Tokyo University. And here I was, just a few months ago, thinking that he was a selfish, ignorant bastard that didn't care about anyone. Now... I don't know what I would do if he left again. Yes, I know that it sounds stupid, but shut up! I'm allowed to be sentimental in the epilogue. Anyway...

He's still kind of isolated and all, but that's ok. Whenever he doesn't want to talk, I just shrug and leave it at that. The cool thing is that after a class or two, when he's walking me to my next class, he'll suddenly turn and kiss my cheek. I never really expect it, but he just smiles appologetically and holds my hand. I personally find it amazing, but Kagura thinks differently, seeing as how she teases me so much.

Oh, did I forget to tell you? Yeah, he smiles now. I like it.

I guess all those Middle School years, when I would pine for Dark, and Satoshi would lecture me about it all, weren't as stupid and wasteful as I thought they were. As I look back on it, I smile to myself and wonder if anyone else ended up with someone they didn't expect. Well, with the exception of Riku and Daisuke. Now, I'm not going to end with something stupid and gooey, lovey-dovey or anything. All I'm saying is that perhaps there is someone out there that you absolutely despise. You don't have to fall in love with him/her, just... give them a chance.

You never really know what you're going to find.

THE END

(fin)

* * *

**A/N:** So... I hope you review... because that's my story... and I hope you review... and I hope you all really liked it! And I hope you review. (laughs) Kidding. Have an awesome rest of your day, people. Hope you all enjoyed _College Days_. 


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